CombineNet is on a quest to conquer the Optimization World! Hopefully I’ll be able to post more details soon, but for now, let’s just say that it sounds like their new slogan is “We Can Optimize Anything“. To that end, I hereby proffer^* the following for their new theme song (assuming, of course, that they can get the musical rights from the Tragically Hip for Blow at High Dough [midi]).

They had a problem once … in my home town
Everybody affected … from miles around
Energy crisis … not enough silver bling
Well we ain’t no day traders, but we can optimize anything

Get it out .. get it all out
We’ll stretch that bling
Make it last, we make it last
To well beyond the market bell rings
Well the stock-car driver likes his rhythm,
  never likes the stops
Throes of passion, Throes of passion
When something just throws him off

Sometimes .. the faster it gets
The less you need to know
But you gotta remember
The smarter it gets, the further it’s going to go
When you optimize so
When you optimize so

Whoa baby you’ll feel fine
You can trust that it’s genuine
Dollars and Cents, Saves Dollars and Cents
Yeah, Every time you optimize
Nobody solves it as good as we do
It is one kick-ass tool
‘Cause we solve so fast, solve so fast
Makes everybody drool

Sometimes .. the faster it gets
The less you need to know
But you gotta remember
The smarter it gets, the further it’s going to go
When you optimize so
When you optimize so

Out in the market, same Elvis thing
But they can’t catch us, ’cause we can optimize anything
‘Cause we can optimize anything

Sometimes .. the faster it gets
The less you need to know
But you gotta remember
The smarter it gets, the further it’s going to go
When you optimize so
When you optimize so

Out in the market, same Elvis thing

^* Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.