(That Vendor Rep) He Ain’t Pretty …

A verbal commentary on the current state of SaaS …

I wore two hats, I was pounding the sand
And on the weekend in a rock & roll band
One Monday aft in the office board room
In walked a rep who looked like Max Headroom

He stared at me and it was scaring me off
He said he worked for the vendor on top
I heard a voice inside me say
He ain’t pretty he just looks that way

We made a date for demo round two
I wore my jeans and he wore a suit
There was this misconception all over town
That he sold software savings by the pound

He said “Buy my app, there won’t be no fuss
I said “Why? you haven’t shown me cost-plus
Watching him leave I heard his grunt-in-tow say
He ain’t pretty he just looks that way

So, I called his office, the admin was there
Said “He’s busy, he can’t come to the phone
I held my breath, decided to wait
A guy like me needs to set some things straight

I got stuck with the sales rep from hell
Didn’t take much time for my hormones to tell
Letting him in has been a grave mistake
He ain’t pretty he just looks that way

His ego wrote cheques incredibly fast
But the software he sold wouldn’t save us the cash
I laughed out loud to my total dismay
He ain’t pretty he just looks that way
He ain’t pretty he just looks that way

He ain’t pretty
He ain’t pretty
He ain’t pretty
He ain’t pretty he just looks that way