Category Archives: humour

Twenty Years, and Nothing’s Changed. It’s still all about the Pentiums!

Today they might be called Xeon Ws or something similar, and power Mac Pros, but at the core, they are still, more or less, Pentiums!

Rock on, Al Yankovic, Rock on!

Because It’s All About The Pentiums (Original Video!)

Al may have been Running with Scissor, but no one did a better job of predicting the future of the IT industry.

     
My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight

  It’s All About the Pentiums
    by “Weird Al” Yankovic (@alyankovic)

The Devil Went Down to Vegas …

The devil went down to Vegas
He was lookin’ for some souls to steal
He was in a bind
‘Cause he was way behind
And he was willin’ to make a deal

When he came upon this young man
Speaking on the big stage and workin’ the crowd
And the devil jumped
Up on a podium
And said, “boy, let me tell you what

I guess you didn’t know it
But I’m a keynote speaker too
And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you

Now you work the grand stand like magic, boy
But give the devil his due
I’ll bet a statue of gold
Against your soul
‘Cause I think I’m better than you

The boy said, “my name’s Robert
And it might be a sin
But I’ll take your bet
And you’re gonna regret
‘Cause I’m the best there’s ever been

Robert, step up your game and work your magic hard
‘Cause hell’s broke loose in Vegas and the devil deals the cards
And if you win, you get this shiny statue made of gold
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul

The devil straightened up his tie
And he said “I’ll start this charade
And sparks flew from his fiery eyes
As he angled off his shades

Then he breathed his first into the mic
And it made an evil hiss
And a band of demons cheered him on
As the mark he never missed

When the devil finished
Robert said, “well, you’re pretty good, old son
But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how it’s done

He worked the crowd into hysteria
The devil’s in the house of the rising sun
When he was done, everyone was floating on air
Robert, will you save us? Yes, child, yes!

The devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he’d been beat
And he laid that golden statue
On the ground at Robert’s feet

Robert said, “Devil, just come on back
If you ever want to try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch
I’m the best that’s ever been

He worked the crowd into hysteria
The devil’s in the house of the rising sun
When he was done, everyone was floating on air
Robert, will you save us? Yes, child, yes!

 

And if you haven’t figured it out yet, Coupa Inspire ’19 starts today at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. (And it won’t be long until their next dance video is out. For reference, here’s ’13, ’14, ’15, ’16, ’17, and ’18.)

YOUR SI (Repost)

To the tune of “UHF
by Weird Al Yankovic, who completed the soundtrack to the cult classic UHF 30 years ago today.

Put down your old-school textbook
Throw out your online Guide
Put away your jacket
There’s no need to go outside

Don’t you know that we control the horizontal
We control the vertical, too
We gonna make a sourcing leader out of you
That’s what we gonna do now

Make it your home-page
Don’t touch that dial
We got it all on Your SI!

Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on Your SI!

Don’t worry ’bout ISM
Forget about the glitz
Just resize the window
And kill your favorites
We got it all, we got it all,
we got it all on Your SI!

Disconnect the landline and leave the iPhone in the drawer
You better put away your paper
Prime time ain’t no time to weave
Time to go and make yourself a TV dinner
Press your face right up against the screen
We gonna tell you things you’ll wanna believe
If you know what I mean, now

Make it your home-page
Don’t touch that dial
We got it all on Your SI!

Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on Your SI!

Don’t worry ’bout ISM
Forget about the glitz
Just resize the window
And kill your favorites
We got it all, we got it all,
we got it all on Your SI!

UHF should be your Procurement cult classic.  It was the first movie to teach us what happens if we try to drink from the firehose, attend an expert class as a beginner, or don’t keep track of what is in the supplies closet. 😉

Twitter (Repost)

Originally posted eleven years ago today.  Nothing has changed.

To the tune of Strutter by KISS.

I know a thing or two about it
I know it’s only for the brief
It lets you send texts to the masses
As long as you can speak in tweets

Everybody says its looking good
But I know they’ve misunderstood
Twitter

It claims to be web 2 point zero
But I know its just web point one
You send a text and it says maybe, Nero
Then the next one causes Rome to burn

Everybody says its looking good
But I know they’ve misunderstood
Twitter

I know a thing or two about it
I know that it’s not for the wise
Spend your whole life speaking sound-bites
Like celebrities high as a kite

Everybody says its looking good
But I know they’ve misunderstood
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter