Category Archives: humour

A Visual Metaphor …

Is the following a visual metaphor for:

  1. Supply Chain Bloggers at the latest M&A press conference,
  2. Spend Analysis Vendors at Data Mapping and Cleansing,
  3. Sourcing Consultants at Indirect Spend, or
  4. All of the Above?

You Decide!

Great Supply Chain Jokes from the Last Decade

In preparation for the week ahead, SI has decided to publish some of its favourite supply chain jokes. Some are a bit brash (and maybe even offensive), but sometimes that makes a good joke.

3. Demand forecasters are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

2. If you’re a supplier and you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of delivery dates.

1. What do you get if you play a supply chain country song backwards? You get your revenue back, you get your margin back, you get your on-time delivery back …

Ode to Vendors … That Don’t Impress Me Much!

I’ve known some vendors who thought they were pretty sleek
And others so cocky beyond critique
They think they’re all geniuses — drive me up the wall
They’re regular and un-original know-it-alls

Oh-oo-oh, they think they’re special
Oh-oo-oh, they think they’re something else

Okay, so you’ve got offline OLAP-driven cubes
That don’t impress me much
So you got the code but does it have the clutch
Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you transact
But that won’t save me cash in the midst of a contract
That don’t impress me much

I never knew an app that relied on dashboards to get results
And an Excel backup — just in case
And all that last gen UI in your app really dates it
‘Cause Heaven forbid new widgets were embraced

Oh-oo-oh, so you think you’re something special
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re something else

Okay, so you’re Sales Champ
That don’t impress me much
So you got the code but does it have the clutch
Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you transact
But that won’t stock my inventory on the rack
That don’t impress me much

You’re one of those apps that likes to brag past success
And make me sign a waiver before you let me demo
I can’t believe you hide behind paper
C’mon vendor tell me — you must be jokin’? Hello?

Oh-oo-oh, so you think you’re something special
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re something else

Okay, so you’ve gone all SaaS
That don’t impress me much
So you got the code but does it have the clutch
Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you transact
But metric obsolesence it doesn’t counteract

That don’t impress me much
So you got the code but does it have the clutch
Don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you transact
But that won’t keep maintenance costs down, matter of fact
That don’t impress me much

Okay, so what do you think you’re Apple or something
Whatever
That don’t impress me

A Supply Management Alphabet

Inspired by Edward Gorey.

A is for analysis, of data sets quite large.

B is for bid, which might leave out the surcharge.

C is for contracts to cover our backsides.

D is for demand ‘cross the customer divides.

E is for ethics, which often get overlooked.

F is for finance, where the books will get cooked.

G is for global, the world is our stage.

H is for hub, where our goods get waylaid.

I is for inventory, obsolete by the day.

J is for JIT, a difficult ballet.

K is for Kaizen, often mispronounced.

L is for labour, who strike unannounced.

M is for majeure, which suppliers will claim.

N is for negotiate, the salesperson’s game.

O is for optimize, as we’re lost in the woods.

P is for procure, we need our missing goods!

Q is for quote, where assumptions abound.

R is for requisition, for products unsound.

S is for supplier, our life in their hands.

T is for taxes, which cross many lands.

U is for upcharge, which blows up our cost.

V is for value, which always gets lost.

W is for warehouse, where our goods disappear.

X is for XML, held hostage by the code buccaneer.

Y is for yield, which is never as expected

Z is for zone, where trade is inspected.