Writing is something you try to start and then …
“…you suddenly don’t know how to write”
But at least you’re one step ahead of today’s generation that can’t write at all!
“…that you’re [going to feel like] a fraud”
Whereas the influencers don’t care that they are, and that’s why they are more prolific than you.
“…that you actually maybe don’t know anything”
Which will be a great start if it happens! Great writers actually question what they know.
“…that you can’t possibly be this bad at writing”
But, at least for now, you can, because you haven’t actually written since College/University!
“…that your English teacher was right about you”
I hope not, because if you have this thought, you need to get professional help immediately! (As you
have some serious self esteem problems.)
“…that a caffeinated squirrel could produce better prose”
That will always be the case, but this shouldn’t worry you because they are all too busy with sabotage!
“…that you don’t know how sentences work”
It’s just the English language. The question you need to be asking, does anyone?
Nihongo wa kenmeida.
English is not. No structure! No hard and fast rules. Every time you finally comprehend one more thing about the language, even if it was your first language, you realize two more things just don’t make sense (and wonder what idiot decades, if not hundreds of years, ago decided the word, phrase, spelling, grammar, etc. should be part of it).
This is one of the primary reasons some people confuse Gen-AI output with intelligence as Gen-AI produces near perfect English from a spelling and grammatical viewpoint, even if the meaning is pure nonsense upon deeper inspection.
“…that autocorrect is silently judging you”
And this is why you write offline in an old-school text app (like TextEdit on the Mac if you’re out-of-the-box, or a customized Zed or BBEdit which can be configured to the level of help you want). Then you don’t have to worry about this phobia bothering you.
“…that the blinking cursor is mocking your very existence”
This is also a sign you might need professional help, so if this is what you think, please get it. (Your job is to mock the cursor!)
“…that you should have pursued interpretive dance after all”
Let me be blunt here. If you’re better at communicating without words, this is a good option!
Just remember that it doesn’t pay well unless you get into a top troupe, but still …
“…that cave paintings had better narrative structure”
Joel mixed up his tenses here. Compared to the majority of “content” on social media, cave paintings still HAVE better narrative structure! And are sometimes clearer than the weird constructs “modern” language makes us use.
“…that you’re one backspace away from goat farming”
I wish! That would be a great and noble pursuit! I’d go one step further and also provide a rental service and negate the need for gas guzzling or energy sucking lawn mowers! Plus, goat cheese is easier to digest than cow cheese and goats produce (less than) half (of) the CO2 of cows! It’s a win-win-win all around.
“…that your keyboard is conspiring against you”
Nahhh, it’s just wearing out fast because you are taking your frustrations with yourself out on it. Try not to, it’s not the keyboard.
“…that your draft is sentient and embarrassed by you”
Okay, now you’ve reached full delusional status — check yourself into that psyche ward immediately. Then, when you accept that you’re not, get back to it.
“…that the void is staring back at you while laughing”
Well, we all know this. Lovecraft told us it was so! And it is. But it stares back at us through everything we do, so just accept it. Nothing else you can do!
“…that maybe you were completely mad all this time”
Look, if you haven’t accepted you are completely mad by the point you start writing, why the heck are you trying to write? (We’ll get back to this one.)
“…that you should communicate with hand gestures now”
Well, learning ASL would be a fantastic option! Instead of just another language, it’s a whole new way to communicate. And would allow you to communicate more silently and focus more on your thoughts that will help you with your writing.
“…that maybe society peaked with smoke signals”
Any society that is able to function self-sufficiently and harmoniously with nature is a peak society, even if it uses smoke signals for communication. Many of these societies invented some form of writing, so it shouldn’t stop you.
“Writing is masochism but with better branding.”
No, it’s just pain. There’s no pleasure. And you have to be stark raving mad to want to do it. You do it for the greater good. Not just because it forces you to crystallize, cement, and confirm your thoughts (as some people can learn to do that through mediation), but because it helps you simplify them in a way you can convey to others (willing to read and think) so that they too can consume and conceive of the benefits!
“Realize 3 months later that the writing got a bit easier …”
Nope! Because there’s a 99%+ chance that you won’t make it that long! I chronicled the rise and fall of the blogs for over a decade (and while the resource site is now offline, I still have the database backup that contains hundreds of dead blogs and sites).
The rise (and fall, and rise again) of blogging, newsletters, and podcasting all follow(ed) the same pattern:
- 90% didn’t survive beyond the 3rd entry/3rd day
- a significant number essentially died by the 32 entry/3rd week
(as frequency became sparse)
- 90% of those that remained after the 3rd entry/day didn’t survive beyond the 33 entry / 3rd month
And since social media posting is just Web 3.0 Blogging … odds are 99 to 1 you’re not going to make it 3 months. Sad, but true.
