Category Archives: humour

And the Road Stays Rocky for the Oompa Loompas

When we last checked in on the Oompa Loompas, things were finally starting to look up. Not much, but with Cadbury’s going fair trade, the opening of the TCHO waterfront factory, and the UAE premium chocolate business resisting recessionary dynamics it looked like, after almost two years of hardship, that things were taking a turn for the better.

But did we speak too soon? Since then:

There was some good news too, but does it balance the bad?

Will the oompa loompas ever see a quarter without hardship?

CUCKOO

CAO: Chief Administrative Officer

Chief Academic Officer

Chief Analytics Officer

Chief Advisement Officer

CBO: Chief Banking Officer

Chief Brand Officer

Chief Brokerage Officer

CCO: Chief Compliance Officer

Chief Communications Officer

Chief Control Officer

Chief Customer Officer

Chief Creative Officer

Chief Carbon Officer

Chief Consulting Officer

CDO: Chief Development Officer

Chief Disciplinary Officer

CEO: Chief Executive Officer

Chief Ethics Officer

Chief Entertainment Officer

CFO: Chief Financial Officer

CGO: Chief Globalization Officer

Chief Government Officer

Chief Growth Officer

CHO: Chief Health Officer

Chief Humanitarian Officer

CIO: Chief Information Officer

Chief Innovation Officer

Chief Intelligence Officer

Chief Investment Officer

Chief Integrity Officer

CJO: Chief Judicial Officer

CKO: Chief Knowledge Officer

CLO: Chief Logistics Officer

Chief Legal Officer

Chief Learning Officer

Chief Linguistics Officer

CMO: Chief Marketing Officer

Chief Medical Officer

CNO: Chief Nursing Officer

COO: Chief Operations Officer

CPO: Chief Procurement Officer

Chief Privacy Officer

Chief People Officer

Chief Performance Officer

CQO: Chief Quality Officer

CRO: Chief Risk Officer

Chief Research Officer

Chief Revenue Officer

Chief Restructuring Officer

CSO: Chief Supply (Chain) Officer

Chief Strategy Officer

Chief Security Officer

Chief Sales Officer

Chief Science Officer

Chief Staff Officer

Chief Solutions Officer

Chief Suitability Officer

CTO: Chief Technology Officer

Chief Transportation Officer

Chief Telecommunications Officer

CUO: Chief Underwriting Officer

CVO: Chief Visionary Officer

Chief Volunteer Officer

CWO: Chief Web Officer

CXO: Chief eXperience Officer

and now a

CCO: Chief Commercial Officer.

I think we need a Chief Universal Cipher Keeping Ontological Officer, or CUCKOO, to keep track of them all. I know I’m going cuckoo trying to keep track of them …

We thought Global Warming Would Be Good? Were We Wrong?

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Back before we knew it was an inconvenient truth, we Canadians were all for global warming … thinking it would skyrocket our property values and help us take over the world. But now, after a summer of miserable wet, dank, allergy and asthma inducing weather … we have to ask “were we wrong”?

I don’t know. Canadians for Global Warming

Musicians Beware: United (Airlines) Breaks Guitars

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Dave Carroll, of the Sons of Maxwell, decided to recount his unfortunate story about his trials and tribulations on a United Airlines trip last year the way a musician does best: in song. Even if you think the style of music isn’t your style, the video (and song) is definitely worth checking out all the way. Trust me. (And give a local boy some support.)

United Breaks Guitars