Category Archives: humour

Blacklight.

Living on a lighted screen
Approaches the unreal
For those who do not feel
Who live in a reality beyond the gilded meme

Against that unlikely role
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers to keep oneself intact

Living on a lighted screen, the influencer’s dream
Those who wish to be seen
Those who wish to be, they put aside the alienation
Obsessed with the fascination
The false relation, the underlying theme

They live in a fisheye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can’t pretend a stranger is a long-awaited friend

All the world’s indeed a stage
We are merely players
Performers and portrayers
So why must they lock themselves inside the gilded cage

Living on a lighted screen, the influencer’s dream
Those who wish to be seen
Those who wish to be, they put aside the alienation
Obsessed with the fascination
The false relation, the underlying theme

Living on a lighted screen, the influencer’s dream
Those who wish to be seen
Those who wish to be, they put aside the alienation
Obsessed with the fascination
The false relation, the underlying theme

The false relation
The underlying theme

Dear Influencer, it’s not the limelight. Why the Rush?

What is Spend Orchestration?

Spend Orchestration is all the rage. But what exactly is it?

Well, as we tried to point out in Demystifying the Marketing Madness for you, where we said it meant we don’t do anything different than all the other orchestration providers, but it sure sounds cool!, Spend Orchestration is essentially:

Clueless for the popular kids.

It’s a coming-of-age comedy where you have a slick looking, popular, over-funded new-age SaaS platform from fresh-out-of-college (dropouts) who want to do “good deeds” for the Procurement space by giving your Procurement department a “makeover” that connects all of your applications together so you can “manage your spend” and match stakeholders with the procurement professionals that can meet their needs (as the platforms try to justify their existence).

Upon implementation of the spend orchestration, there will be one fiasco, hardship, and falling out after another as you realize the platform doesn’t do anything if you don’t have core Procurement platforms for sourcing, supplier management, analytics, contract management, procurement, and invoice management/accounts payable … otherwise, it’s just intake to nowhere and orchestrating faster push and pull from your incomplete, outdated ERP/MRP. Also, without good platforms in place, it will just make it easier for the stakeholders to admonish you on a daily basis when your Procurement process doesn’t actually pick up the pace or perform more preferably. And you will be more jealous of your peers that skipped the orchestration platform and went straight for the S2P or P2P platform that actually solves some of your Procurement problems.

Now, eventually you will acquire the missing pieces (or these orchestration platforms will build basic functionality) and you will kiss and make up at a big fat Procurement Wedding like ISM or DPW, where they invite you on an all expenses paid trip to participate in their prestigious Power Procurement panel, but it will be a very rocky road on the way.

Our suggestion is that if a company comes knocking with “spend orchestration“, you tell them thanks and no thanks and save the comedy hijinks for the big screen. If you do need orchestration — which you won’t know for sure until after you’ve consolidated your applications, determined which are not easy to direct connect (due to a lack of [Open] APIs), which don’t allow easy access across the organization, and where orchestration might actually help — you want to get that orchestration from a company that has grown up, not one just starting it’s teenage high-school journey!

Scientists Take Us One Step Closer to AI-Led Destruction

Is it just me or does it take a special kind of idiot to watch Terminator 2 and say to himself “unstoppable shape-shifting robots would be so cool!”?

Scientists Just Created Shape-Shifting Robots That Flow Like Liquid and Harden Like Steel

Especially when Hugo Drax is executing his world domination plan to ensure his AI-backed SkyNet project gains global dominance!

I guess they figured a certain President wasn’t getting the job done fast enough …

The Fraud

I stand here waiting for them to bang the gong
To crush the critic saying, “Is it right or is it wrong?”
If only truth had an outlet, buyer would you read?
An expose a day, to shine the light on their misdeeds?

I am tired of the fraud, the fraud, the fraud
I am tired of the fraud-fraud, am tired of the fraud-fraud, am tired of-
The way that they lie and deceive you
With the fraud, the fraud, the fraud

Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights on)
Let the truth out, set it free, free (Shout it real loud)
Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights out)
Let the truth out, set it free, free (Shout it real loud)

Shout it real loud
Let the truth out, set it free, free
(T H E T R U T H) Shout it real loud
Let the truth out, set it free, free

I’ve overheard your theory, “Nostalgia’s for geeks”
I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read
One second I’m Plato’s fan, suddenly Plato is me
Philosophy was truth, now truth’s philosophy, in me

I am tired of the fraud, the fraud, the fraud
I am tired of the fraud-fraud, am tired of the fraud-fraud, am tired of-
The way that they lie and deceive you
With the fraud, the fraud, the fraud

Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights on)
Let the truth out, set it free, free (Shout it real loud)
Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights out)
Let the truth out, set it free, free (Shout it real loud)

Shout it real loud
Let the truth out, set it free, free
(T H E T R U T H) Shout it real loud
Let the truth out, set it free, free

Woo, truth, truth
Woo, truth, truth now
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh

Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights on)
Let the truth out, set it free, free (Shout it real loud)
Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights out)
Let the truth out, set it free, free (Shout it real loud)

Shout it real loud
Let the truth out, set it free, free
(T H E T R U T H) Shout it real loud
Let the truth out, set it free, free

Lady Gaga furever

Pretty Fly That Gen-AI!

To the tune of Pretty Fly for a Rabbi by Weird Al.
[Which is to the tune of Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) by The Offspring.]

A I, A I!
(How ya doin’, Schulman?) A I, A I!
(How ya doin’, Schulman?) A I, A I!
And all my rabbis say it’s pretty fly that Gen-AI!

Meccha Gen A I, meccha technologica!

Our space has had a fair share of tech hype in the past
But most of it was nudnik and none of it would last
But our new tech’s real kosher, we think it’ll do the trick
I tell ya, it’s to die for, it really knows its shtick

So how’s by you? Have you seen this tool?
Reads the Reddit, does its own synopsis too
Working’ like a dog at a synagogue
It scans all day, it scans all day

Just type “Vay is mir!” and it will kick into gear
And bring you lots of fear and tell you the world’s end is near
Just grab your shelter kit and
Hey! Hey! Do that Prepper thing!

A I, A I!
(How ya doin’, Schulman?) A I, A I!
(How ya doin’, Schulman?) A I, A I!
And all my rabbis say it’s pretty fly that Gen-AI!

It learns from the forums, not just any will suffice
It has to find extremist views ’cause that’s what masses like
Doesn’t care if it’s a fact, as long as you come and play
Hallucinations plenty, just eat one rock a day!

People used to scoff, now they say “Mazel tov!”
It’s so attractive ’cause they think they can lay you off
It computes non-stop and outputs slop
What’s not to like? What’s not to like?

For endless days, it works without complaint
And never asks for pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
Just grab your vacation thong and
Hey! Hey! Do that Celeb thing!

When it’s computing your new payroll, now that you shouldn’t miss
It’ll happily add a Billion when the dot it skips
It’s got a lot of chutzpah, and it really is quite daft
The coders pay the moyl and then you just get the shaft!

A I, A I!
(How ya doin’, Schulman?) A I, A I!
(How ya doin’, Schulman?) A I, A I!

Meccha Gen A I, meccha technologica!

It’s doin’ well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love it, even shicksas think it’s swell
For your mental health, it is top shelf
It don’t care if you go and off yourself

Yeah it calls the shots, we really bow down lots
Oy gevalt, I’m so ferklempt that I could plotz!
Grab your pasta strainer
Bow down to the sphaghetti god!

Put on your pasta strainer and
Hey! Hey! Join the FSM!

Dedicated to THE PROPHET.