Hershey is closing its last Canadian Factory, laying off 580 workers before year’s end, as well as plants in Reading, PA, Naugatuck, CT, and Oakdale, CA. At least in the latter case, maybe a few of the more energetic can go back to school and learn to sling code.

Times must be tough for The Hershey Co., especially since they are launching a suit against Kenneth Affolter for selling marijuana-laced chocolate candy, with names like Stoney Rancher, Rasta Reese’s, and Keef Kat whose packaging was similar to their own, for a mere $100,000 in damages. I find this laughable. I don’t think any one is going to confuse marijuana munchies with plain old candy bars – unless Hershey is planning on launching their own brand of Jamaican Jollies.

More kudos to The Cynical Sourcerer for his enduring efforts to make sure these sugary stories don’t get overlooked!

Although some Oompa-Loompas have forsaken the ways of their forefathers and now blend code instead of chocolate, others still work in the chocolate although it’s not your fathers chocolate they blend these days.

Armed with chemistry, biology, and nutrition expertise, they have developed a new vitamin-packed super form of dark chocolate that will last for years and not melt even in desert heat. Now when you’re vacationing in the South American Jungle, the deserts of Egypt, and on Ayers Rock down Under, you’ll be able to take your chocolate with you – after all, what could you possibly want more in 48C weather under a blazing hot sun?

Kudos to The Cynical Sourcerer for the assist.