Category Archives: oompa loompa

I Haven’t Forgotten About The Oompa-Loompas …

I know it’s been a while since my last Oompa Loompa update (a couple of months, actually), but I assure you I haven’t forgotten about the little guys … how could I? Without chocolate, there’d be no chocolate chips. And without chocolate chips, there’d be no chocolate chip cookies. And without chocolate chip cookies, there’d be a world-wide protest! I know – because I’d be leading the charge against the capitalistic chocolatiers who prevented the oompa loompas from unionizing and kept them away from the cocoa beans they live to process into yummy, oh-so-yummy, dark chocolate chips!

Anyway, it’s been a rough year for those poor little guys, and it doesn’t look like it’s letting up. They’ve had tough times with Hershey closing its last Canadian factory, confusing times with Cadbury telling them that they are synonymous with the color purple (Metro UK), rough times with Cadbury laying off thousands (Silicon.com), and an uncertain future with Campbell looking to drop Godiva‘s like a hot potato. And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Kraft has to recall white chocolate due to another case of salmonella contamination (which follows Cadbury’s admission that its “new” testing system allowed for “safe” levels of salmonella in its products*).

But the bad news doesn’t stop there! Earlier this month, CNNMoney.com reported that Hershey’s CEO is retiring at the end of the year. During his six year tenure, Richard Lenny shutdown six U.S. and Canadian plants and cut more than 3,000 workers. Just imagine how much harder the axe is going to swing when a younger, stronger, more eager CEO gets put in the top spot!

And if the salmonella contamination at Cadbury and Kraft wasn’t enough to turn people off of heavenly chocolate goodness and onto eternal damnation carob, there’s this story (Food Production Daily) that would make even the most fearless Fear Factor contestant cringe. Those Ferrero Rocher chocolates you’re eating right now could be counterfeit chocolates made in China that have been found to contain worms, moths, and larvae. Now I know that chocolate covered ants might be a delicacy in the Brazilian rain forest (and roasted ants a tortilla topping in Mexico), some insectivores think crickets go good in chocolate chip cookies, and boys will eat worms on a dare — but moths? I don’t think that even the most desperate coke addict would want to snuff that powder! Bad China! Bad, Bad China! I can forgive your lead paint Thomas, your melamine dog food, and your diethylene glycol toothpaste — but mess with my chocolate, and I’ll boycott you!

* Salmonella is safe if you’re already dead!

Hard Times for Oompa Loompas

In my last post on The Cadbury Crunch, I reminded you that Cadbury had recently announced job-cuts in the 7,500 range. In the predecessor post, Confusing Times for Oompa Loompas, I pointed out that Hershey was closing it’s last Canadian factory. This week brought more grim news, Campbell announced it was looking to sell Godiva. These are likely three of the top five chocolate manufacturers in the world. Let’s just hope business goes well for Mars and Nestle, or the enterprising Oompa-Loompas at Lake Forest Confections are going to have to sell an awful lot of boxes of Le Chocolat to make up for the shortfall!

Cadbury gives Oompa Loompas a Bad Name

Last month I reported that Cadbury, who was making grandiose efforts to become “synonymous with the color purple” (Metro UK) was down on its luck and was announcing massive job cuts to try and right the ship. But before you go feeling sorry for the sugary giant (which is the world’s largest confectionary company with revenues of about £7.4b in 2006) and it’s self-reported need for a “£650m four-year cost reduction plan” (Silicon.com), which it is partially blaming on its enterprise rollout of SAP (which caused too many chocolate bars to be produced and forced it to take a £12m hit on profits), it seems that it decided to introduce a new testing system for salmonella last year that allowed “safe” levels of salmonella in its products.

Well, when it comes to salmonella, there are no safe levels when consumables are involved, and that’s why the official guidelines say that there is to be no salmonella in ready-to-eat products. Furthermore, they did this knowing perfectly well that outbreaks of salmonella had been associated with very low levels in chocolate. See, salmonella is a bacteria … a gram-negative enterobacteria to be precise … and, like all bacteria, they have this funny habit of multiplying like mad under the right environmental conditions (which, oddly enough, are provided by the human body). And what did they get for it? A slap on the wrist for potentially exposing thousands and thousands of people to a bacteria that is known to kill at least 600 people a year (as per the CDC) and infect over 40,000.

Salmonella
and you’re to blame
Cadbury, you give oompa loompas
a bad name

Confusing Times for Oompa Loompas

Cadbury is trying to become synonymous with the color purple (Metro.co.uk), dry weather has harmed the development of cocoa crops in West Africa (Economic Times), and this could lead to a global deficit of 145,000 tonnes, and Bioversity International has begun a new project on sustainable and organic farming (Confectionary News) in a remove area of Nicaragua to improve future yields. This follows recent news that Hershey is closing its last Canadian factory (York Dispatch), that they have to compete against individuals selling marijuana-laced chocolate candy (Yahoo News), and that they also have to add desert chocolate (News Australia) to their repertoire.

I don’t know how they keep it all straight – but at least we won’t be surprised when we start seeing synthetic marijuana-laced cocoa-free purple chocolate made using 100% sustainable practices.

Tough Times for the Oompa Loompas

Hershey is closing its last Canadian Factory, laying off 580 workers before year’s end, as well as plants in Reading, PA, Naugatuck, CT, and Oakdale, CA. At least in the latter case, maybe a few of the more energetic can go back to school and learn to sling code.

Times must be tough for The Hershey Co., especially since they are launching a suit against Kenneth Affolter for selling marijuana-laced chocolate candy, with names like Stoney Rancher, Rasta Reese’s, and Keef Kat whose packaging was similar to their own, for a mere $100,000 in damages. I find this laughable. I don’t think any one is going to confuse marijuana munchies with plain old candy bars – unless Hershey is planning on launching their own brand of Jamaican Jollies.

More kudos to The Cynical Sourcerer for his enduring efforts to make sure these sugary stories don’t get overlooked!