100 Procurement Damnations Down!

Just as 2015 came to a close, our last post chronicled our 100th Procurement Damnation that you, as a Procurement professional, have to deal with on a regular, if not daily, basis. That’s an almost unimaginable number of damnations that torment you as you attempt to do your job and why only the best of the best can be Procurement Professionals!

Since there are so many damnations (that it took us an entire year to chronicle them all) we thought it would be a good idea to summarize the complete list in one post so that you could go back and review any posts in the series that you might have missed during your hectic conference and vacation seasons as this was SI’s biggest and most aggressive series to date, much longer than both the 15-part “Future” of Procurement series and the 33-part “Future” Trends Expose series (that followed) combined and double the length of the maverick‘s 50 Shades of Pay (on Spend Matters) series (assuming it gets completed) which, to date, only has 20 parts up and available for your reading pleasure.

There’s more that could be said, but as we’ve already said so much, without further ado, here are the links to all 100 Procurement Damnations for your reading pleasure.

Introductory Posts

Economic Damnations

Infrastructure Damnations

Environmental Damnations

Geopolitical Damnations

Regulatory Damnations

Societal Damnations

Organizational Damnations

Authoritative Damnations

Provider Damnations

Consumer Damnations

Technological Damnations

Influential Damnations

Bonus Posts!

Influential Damnation 100: Bloggers

Wait, what? We’re the good guys, right? Yes, we are. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t a damnation. We are. And we’re the worst kind. (And that’s why we saved this damnation for last.) Why?

We seek the truth.

This is not just bad for vendors who do not want the truth exposed, but bad for you. Because what do you do when you finally come around to the dark side that the analysts and vendors claim we spread, and your eyes get opened and you realize that the solution you rushed into is not the right one. But you’re 18 months into a 36 month agreement, and getting out is almost impossible.

We don’t pull punches.

Not only do we speak the truth, but we don’t like to sugar coat it. Not even a little bit. A spoonful of sugar might make the medicine go down, but before you will take any medicine, you have to admit that you’re sick. We help you realize when you’re sick, when you need medicine, and what that medicine is, even when you don’t realize that you’re sick. And sometimes it hurts, but once you figure it out, and take the medicine, you get stronger. And that’s what’s important.

And sometimes our messaging runs counter to the message your bosses just paid a top analyst firm six (or seven) figures for.

Talk about damnation. Especially if we give you the message for free! The last thing you want to do is find out that the thick research report you paid six (or seven) figures for gives you the wrong message and, more importantly, contains the wrong research (leaving out vendors or solutions you desperately need in exchange for solutions that only partially fill the gaps). What could be worse, especially if another CXO wasted a good part of your research budget?

And because of this, some analysts or vendors will go out of their way to try and discredit us.

Trying to prove that we’re not bloggers, that we’re really independent analysts or consultants trying to spread a message that inflates our bank accounts, or really vendor reps who haven’t yet announced their affiliation. But when we are recommending an approach that has nothing to do with consulting or products we may, or may not, be selling; when we are spreading a message that inflates the bank accounts of others (but not us); or when we are talking about vendors who won’t even pay us a dime no matter how much we promote a shared cause, then those messages can’t be true. But the confusion others will cause will only bring more damnation upon us all.

When you’ve been drawn down the wrong road, sometimes a message from the right road can be the worst damnation of all.

Organizational Damnation 57: Finance

We’ve covered quite a few organizational damnations to date. (Nine to be exact.) But, as with the other damnation categories, we’ve saved the best for last. Marketing was bad. Sales was often worse. Legal is a nightmare. But Finance. Finance controls the four horseman of the apocalypse. War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death — and they all fear the CFO. Because if he dies, then Death will forever have to listen to plans to increase productivity, decrease cost and profit from the dead. (Trust me, give former CFOs the opportunity and they’ll try.)

Finance brings War to the party.

Finance is not only the gatekeeper between the CEO and the various department heads but also the mediator between them, especially when there are budgetary disputes or strategic disputes in terms of corporate direction. That’s because money talks and Finance signs the checks. And if they decide that they don’t want to play mediator and problem solver and they want the department heads and/or CXOs to work it out, they can incite all out war, sit back, and see where the mortars fall. In the interim, Procurement is getting caught in the crossfire as every department makes contradictory requests and expects to get them fulfilled by Procurement.

Finance brings Pestilence to the party.

Finance has the ear of the CEO. As a result, they are always getting whispers from the COO, CMO, Chief Council, the VP of Sales, the VP of HR, and anyone else who runs a department. If any of them are making the CFO promises in terms of increased success, increased status, increased bonus, or, and yes this happens, lining in the pockets (direct or indirect kickbacks), your requests might fall on deaf ears. Marketing promises free trips to all of the global launch events. You promise an extra 10%, which may or may not materialize in the eyes of Finance, unlike those tickets to San Francisco, London, and Shanghai which can be in the CFOs hands as “guest speaker” tomorrow.

Finance brings Famine to the party.

Finance controls the budget. They determine how much money you get for talent, software, and services. Without enough money, you can’t get the talent; the talent in place can’t get the tools they need; and they definitely can’t get augmentation services or training, which they desperately need to do the job they are tasked to do. If Finance wants to bring Famine, they cut the budget, and your department starves. Famine is just one budget cut away.

Finance brings Death the party.

Not only can they starve you, cut you out, and subject you to contradictory requirements that you will be expected to unreasonably fulfill, but they can bring Death upon you. Unreasonable cost saving expectations. Unreachable metrics in terms of automated invoice processing or Spend Under Management in a mere 12 months. Impossible results from the supplier innovation program you are expected to launch. Followed by a pink slip when you don’t deliver (under the new mandatory right-sizing policy that cuts everyone who does not make their annual goals).

If the CFO doesn’t like the CPO or care for the Procurement department, the damnation that he can reign can exceed the damnation caused by all of the other departments combined.