This part of the story was recounted to me by the Sourcing Maniacs after the part of the story that chronicled their visit with Aravo and before the part of the story that chronicled their visit with aPriori. Although it contains no useful vendor information, it does fill in the gap. However, I should warn you that it’s a bit weird, even for the Sourcing Maniacs! (But if you have a strange sense of humor, you should enjoy it.)
| Yakko, Wakko, & Dot | Pinky and the Brain They’re Pinky and the Brain Yes, Pinky and the Brain |
| Dot | One is a genius, |
| Wakko | The other is insane! |
| Yakko, Wakko, & Dot | They’re advertising guys Their mind is on the prize They’re dinky They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain |
| Yakko, Wakko, & Dot | Before each night is done Their plan will be unfurled By the dawning of the sun Take over the sourcing world |
| Yakko | … And they just might do it now that they don’t have to compete with us! |
| Dot | That’s true … what chance does Ariba have without us? |
| Yakko | We were the brains … |
| Dot | and the beauty … |
| Yakko | behind Ariba. How will they compete with just Chicken Boo? |
| Dot | There were three of us! |
| Wakko | in a very depressed tone Well … |
| Yakko | Well what? |
| Wakko | still in a very depressed tone He is Chicken Boo. |
| Dot | So? |
| Wakko | still in a very depressed tone He’s never failed at anything! |
| Dot | starting to pout But … but … |
| Wakko | in an even more depressed tone Think about it … do you ever remember Chicken Boo failing? Even once? He succeeds every time! It’s like Lady Luck is on his side. |
| Dot | And if he succeeds, we’ll never get our jobs back. Dot starts to cry. |
| Yakko | Don’t worry Dot! I’m sure we’ll find something soon. And, you know what they say … |
| Dot | What? |
| Yakko | Third Time’s The Charm! |
| Wakko | in a very depressed tone But it’s not his third gig …. |
| Yakko | But it is his third major sourcing gig, isn’t it? |
| Wakko | starting to cheer up Hey, that’s right! His luck might start to run out! |
| Dot | smiling And we might get our old jobs back after all! Yeah! |
| Yakko | And we’re almost there! Just another block to go! |
| Dot | And I’ll get to see Pinky again! He always cheers me up! |
| Yakko | I wonder what the Brain is cooking up this time? |
| Wakko | I hope it’s Baloney. I’m hungry. I could really go for a baloney sandwich. |
| Yakko | You’re always hungry! |
| Dot | We’re almost there! |
| The sourcing maniacs round the corner. Ahead of them is a majestic headquarters somewhere in Massachusetts, the current home of Pinky and the Brain, their friends, and, up until recently, their competition.
They start towards the main gate. Just then, an alarm sounds. BaZOONga … BaZoonga … Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! … BaZOONga … BaZoonga … Level 5 Lockdown commencing … Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! … All guards to your stations! All guards to your stations … BaZOONga … BaZoonga … The gates close … windows snap shut … dogs are released … the fence is electrified … |
|
| Yakko, Wakko, & Dot | WHAT THE?!?! |
| Guard #1 | Attention Sourcing Maniacs … Do Not Approach. I Repeat … Do Not Approach. This is Private Property and you are NOT welcome here. Go Away! |
| Guard #2 | in a French Accent Yoooo rrrrr not welcome! |
| Dot | But we just want to see Pinky and the Brain! |
| Yakko | We don’t work for Ariba anymore! |
| Wakko | Yeah, we were wakko’d! Get it? |
| Guard #1 | I’ve been told not to believe anything you say! Go Away! |
| Dot | Well, can you let Pinky and the Brain know we’re here and that we’ll be in the coffee shop over there if they want to come out and see us? |
| Guard #2 | in a French Accent Dey doooo not want to zeee yooo! |
| Dot | batting her eyelids Can you ask them for me? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please? |
| Guard #2 | Well, I’ll azk … but I don’t think dey’ll want to zee yooo. |
| Yakko | Why not? |
| Guard #2 | Beecuz they’ve already found it! |
| Wakko | Found what? |
| Guard #2 | Zee zourcing grail! |
| Yakko | The sourcing what? |
| Guard #2 | Zee zourcing grail! The, az yoo maniacz zay, “killer app” that will allow them to take over zee zourcing world! |
| Dot | Really? Can I see it! |
| Guard #2 | No! Nobody may zee it! |
| Yakko | Then how will you use it to take over the sourcing world! |
| Guard #2 | M-power! |
| Yakko | M-power? |
| Guard #2 | Yez, yez, M-power! |
| Dot | I’m confused! What’s that supposed to mean? |
| Guard #2 | All will be clear! Now go away, yoo zilly mouse-dogs! Go and boil your bottomz, yoo zonz of a zilly perzon. I honk my horn at yoo, zo-called maniacz, yoo and all yor zilly maniacal kaniggetz! Thpppt! |
| Wakko | Already on it! says Wakko who is suddenly in a hot-tub in the middle of the street |
| Guard #2 | Now go away! I don’t want to talk to yoooo no more, you empty headed maniac trough whopperz! I break wind in yor general direction! Yor mother was a hamzter and yor father zmelt of elderberriez! |
| Wakko | Hey! That’s my line! |
| Yakko | Yeah, that’s his line! Why are you so upset! |
| Guard #2 | I waz just canned from my night job. |
| Yakko | And that was … |
| Guard #2 | Ze local Spamalot production … |
| Dot | Well that explains a lot … |
| Yakko | Can we speak to the first guy again? |
| Guard #2 | No! He iz on break! |
| Wakko | So? |
| Guard #2 | Go away or I zhall taunt yooo a third time-a! |
| Dot | But? |
| Guard #2 | Fetchez la vache! |
| Yakko | I think we better leave now! |
| strange sounds, like a cow mooing in a very distressed manner, can be heard in the distance | |
| Dot | I agree. This is too weird even for us! |
| The sourcing maniacs take off and quickly round the corner. | |
| Wakko | So what do we do now? |
| Dot | I was really looking forward to seeing Pinky again! |
| Yakko | So was I. We’ll have to e-mail them our travel plans and hope our paths cross again some day. For now, onto the next stop. |
| Wakko | But we’re already at the bus stop. |
| Dot | So who else starts with an A that we can visit? |
| Yakko | aPriori is only a few (dozen) miles away over in Concord. We could see them. |
| Wakko | What do they do? |
| Yakko | Something to do with cost management … and predicting it a-priori. |
| Wakko | Like a psychic? |
| Dot | Or a wizard? |
| Yakko | I don’t know … I guess we’ll have to go and see the wizard of cost management and find out! |
We will return to the tale of the Sourcing Maniacs 2008 Vendor Tour with Part VII on Tuesday. Stay tuned!