Daily Archives: November 1, 2008

The Sourcing Maniacs 2008 Vendor Tour Part II: Interlude

This part of the story was recounted to me by the Sourcing Maniacs after the part of the story that chronicled their visit with Aravo and before the part of the story that chronicled their visit with aPriori. Although it contains no useful vendor information, it does fill in the gap. However, I should warn you that it’s a bit weird, even for the Sourcing Maniacs! (But if you have a strange sense of humor, you should enjoy it.)

YakkoWakko, & Dot Pinky and the Brain
They’re Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
Dot One is a genius,
Wakko   The other is insane!
Yakko, Wakko, & Dot They’re advertising guys
Their mind is on the prize
They’re dinky
They’re Pinky
  and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Yakko, Wakko, & Dot Before each night is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
Take over the sourcing world
Yakko … And they just might do it now that they don’t have to compete with us!
Dot That’s true … what chance does Ariba have without us?
Yakko We were the brains …
Dot and the beauty …
Yakko behind Ariba. How will they compete with just Chicken Boo?
Dot There were three of us!
Wakko in a very depressed tone
Well …
Yakko Well what?
Wakko still in a very depressed tone
He is Chicken Boo.
Dot So?
Wakko still in a very depressed tone
He’s never failed at anything!
Dot starting to pout
But … but …
Wakko in an even more depressed tone
Think about it … do you ever remember Chicken Boo failing? Even once? He succeeds every time! It’s like Lady Luck is on his side.
Dot And if he succeeds, we’ll never get our jobs back.
Dot starts to cry.
Yakko Don’t worry Dot! I’m sure we’ll find something soon. And, you know what they say …
Dot What?
Yakko Third Time’s The Charm!
Wakko in a very depressed tone
But it’s not his third gig ….
Yakko But it is his third major sourcing gig, isn’t it?
Wakko starting to cheer up
Hey, that’s right! His luck might start to run out!
Dot smiling
And we might get our old jobs back after all! Yeah!
Yakko And we’re almost there! Just another block to go!
Dot And I’ll get to see Pinky again! He always cheers me up!
Yakko I wonder what the Brain is cooking up this time?
Wakko I hope it’s Baloney. I’m hungry. I could really go for a baloney sandwich.
Yakko You’re always hungry!
Dot We’re almost there!
  The sourcing maniacs round the corner. Ahead of them is a majestic headquarters somewhere in Massachusetts, the current home of Pinky and the Brain, their friends, and, up until recently, their competition.

They start towards the main gate. Just then, an alarm sounds.

BaZOONga … BaZoonga … Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! … BaZOONga … BaZoonga … Level 5 Lockdown commencing … Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! … All guards to your stations! All guards to your stations … BaZOONga … BaZoonga …

The gates close … windows snap shut … dogs are released … the fence is electrified …

Yakko, Wakko, & Dot WHAT THE?!?!
Guard #1 Attention Sourcing Maniacs … Do Not Approach. I Repeat … Do Not Approach. This is Private Property and you are NOT welcome here. Go Away!
Guard #2 in a French Accent
Yoooo rrrrr not welcome!
Dot But we just want to see Pinky and the Brain!
Yakko We don’t work for Ariba anymore!
Wakko Yeah, we were wakko’d! Get it?
Guard #1 I’ve been told not to believe anything you say! Go Away!
Dot Well, can you let Pinky and the Brain know we’re here and that we’ll be in the coffee shop over there if they want to come out and see us?
Guard #2 in a French Accent
Dey doooo not want to zeee yooo!
Dot batting her eyelids
Can you ask them for me? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please?
Guard #2 Well, I’ll azk … but I don’t think dey’ll want to zee yooo.
Yakko Why not?
Guard #2 Beecuz they’ve already found it!
Wakko Found what?
Guard #2 Zee zourcing grail!
Yakko The sourcing what?
Guard #2 Zee zourcing grail! The, az yoo maniacz zay, “killer app” that will allow them to take over zee zourcing world!
Dot Really? Can I see it!
Guard #2 No! Nobody may zee it!
Yakko Then how will you use it to take over the sourcing world!
Guard #2 M-power!
Yakko M-power?
Guard #2 Yez, yez, M-power!
Dot I’m confused! What’s that supposed to mean?
Guard #2 All will be clear! Now go away, yoo zilly mouse-dogs! Go and boil your bottomz, yoo zonz of a zilly perzon. I honk my horn at yoo, zo-called maniacz, yoo and all yor zilly maniacal kaniggetz! Thpppt!
Wakko Already on it!
says Wakko who is suddenly in a hot-tub in the middle of the street
Guard #2 Now go away! I don’t want to talk to yoooo no more, you empty headed maniac trough whopperz! I break wind in yor general direction! Yor mother was a hamzter and yor father zmelt of elderberriez!
Wakko Hey! That’s my line!
Yakko Yeah, that’s his line! Why are you so upset!
Guard #2 I waz just canned from my night job.
Yakko And that was …
Guard #2 Ze local Spamalot production …
Dot Well that explains a lot …
Yakko Can we speak to the first guy again?
Guard #2 No! He iz on break!
Wakko So?
Guard #2 Go away or I zhall taunt yooo a third time-a!
Dot But?
Guard #2 Fetchez la vache!
Yakko I think we better leave now!
  strange sounds, like a cow mooing in a very distressed manner, can be heard in the distance
Dot I agree. This is too weird even for us!
  The sourcing maniacs take off and quickly round the corner.
Wakko So what do we do now?
Dot I was really looking forward to seeing Pinky again!
Yakko So was I. We’ll have to e-mail them our travel plans and hope our paths cross again some day. For now, onto the next stop.
Wakko But we’re already at the bus stop.
Dot So who else starts with an A that we can visit?
Yakko aPriori is only a few (dozen) miles away over in Concord. We could see them.
Wakko What do they do?
Yakko Something to do with cost management … and predicting it a-priori.
Wakko Like a psychic?
Dot Or a wizard?
Yakko I don’t know … I guess we’ll have to go and see the wizard of cost management and find out!

We will return to the tale of the Sourcing Maniacs 2008 Vendor Tour with Part VII on Tuesday. Stay tuned!