As pointed out by Dick Locke in his post from earlier this week on More Headlines You Hate To See, this is an actual headline from DailyTech:

Foxconn Makes Employees Promise Not to Kill Themselves

FoxConn is asking all of its “colleagues” to sign a “health and wellness” letter that includes, in one of the numbered clauses, a statement that

I will not harm myself or others

in response to Apple’s demands to do something about the “suicide problem” in a factory that has seen almost fifteen suicides in recent months. (source) I think the nets that Foxconn chairman Terry Gou plans to build around the dormitories are going to be more effecitive. (source)

After all, how are you going to reprimand a dead employee? Flail him? He’s already dead, moron.

Hopefully Apple and Dell can figure out what failed and force Foxconn to fix the problem. (source)