Category Archives: Lyrics

… But I Took Purchasing

To the tune of First We Take Manhattan by Leonard Cohen.

They threatened me with thirty years of boredom
But I promised that I’d get the best of them
They tried to cubicle me in accounting
But I slipped their grasp and I took purchasing

I’m guided by desire to save money
I’m guided by desire to always win
I’m guided by the beauty of a P.O.
So I slipped their grasp and I took purchasing

I’d really like to cut back spend today
I love the hunt and tactics and strategy
But you see that minute hand winding up to twelve
I’m running, I’m running, running out of time you see

I did my job when we were losers, I did my job when we all got to win
If only you managed risk, but you don’t have the discipline
So now I must put out the fires, before my work begins
Too bad I slipped their grasp and took up purchasing

I don’t like your mismanagement mister
And I don’t like the decisions that you make
I don’t like what happened to you, sister
Did I make a mistake when I took up purchasing?

I’d really like to just do my job today
And get some thanks for all the savings that I find
But Nero plays his plywood violin
   and the factory burns to the ground
Could have had accounting, but I took purchasing

I am guided

Ah remember me, I used to live for the hunt
Strategy and tactics, I would fight to win
But outsourcing put our supply chain in shambles
Could have had accounting, but I took purchasing

The Tower of Spend

To the tune of The Tower of Song by Leonard Cohen.

Well my wits are gone and my hair is grey
I spend in categories where I used to save
And I’m crazy for help, but I’m here getting none
I’m just shuffling papers every day
Oh in the tower of spend

I said to Ignacio Lopez: how bad does it get
Ignacio Lopez hasn’t answered yet
But I hear him pacing all night long
A hundred floors above me
In the tower of spend

I was made for this, I could not sway
I felt that purchasing would show me the way
Out of corporate drudgery to the beyond
But they stuck me in the dungeon
In the tower of spend

So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll
Because it looks like I’m going to be nailed to the wall
There’s no light from the window when it should be strong
A total lack of visibility
In the tower of spend

Now you can say that I’ve grown bitter, but of this you can be sure
If I can not track my spend I’m going to end up poor
There’s a mighty judgement coming, and I sure hope I’m wrong
You see, I’m drowning in paperwork
In the tower of spend

I see you standing on the other side
I don’t know how the chasm got so wide
We were the same, way back when
And all the bridges are burning that I might have crossed
Still I feel so close to everything that I lost
Don’t want to lose it again

Now I bid you farewell, I don’t know when I’ll be back
They’re moving me tomorrow even further down the track
You won’t be hearing from me again, after I am gone
I’ll be drowning in the darkness
From a dungeon in the tower of spend

Yeah my wits are gone and my hair is grey
I spend in categories where I used to save
And I’m crazy for help, but I’m here getting none
I’m just shuffling papers every day
Oh in the tower of spend

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N!

To the tune of Y.M.C.A. by the Village People.

Young man, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, there’s no need to frown.
We have a new name for the problem.

Young man, there’s a term you should know.
I said, young man, when you need to save dough.
Look into it, and I’m sure you will find …
It will turn water into wine.

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.

It has everything young techs need to enjoy,
New systems that run on new toys …

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.

You can pride yourself on being one with the crowd,
You can shout it out loud …

Young man, I said are you listening right now?
I said, young man, do you want to know how?
I said, young man, it’s the future of tech.
But you’ve got to say what the heck!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just move on, to the D-D-S-N.
It will solve your problems today.

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.

It has everything young techs need to enjoy,
New systems that run on new toys …

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.

You can pride yourself on being one with the crowd,
You can shout it out loud …

Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no one understood supply chain.
I felt the whole world was inane …

That’s when someone came up to me,
And said, young man, here’s an answer for thee.
It’s a movement that’s called D-D-S-N.
It puts you in control again.

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.

It has everything young techs need to enjoy,
New systems that run on new toys …

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.

Young man, young man, there’s no need to feel down
Young man, young man, pick yourself off the ground

It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
It’s the new age of the D-D-S-N.
Young man, young man, it’s the future of tech.
But you’ve got to stand and say what the heck!

D-D-S-N
Put your faith in the D-D-S-N
No man, young man, does it all by himself
Young man, young man, put your pride on the shelf

D-D-S-N
It’s time to choose the D-D-S-N
D-D-S-N
Young man, young man, I was once in your shoes
D-D-S-N
Young man, young man, I am now over the supply chain blues.
D-D-S-N