Category Archives: Lyrics

The first give jobs lost to OpenAI were at OpenAI? I LOVE IT!

In honour of the first five jobs that were lost to OpenAI, at Open AI (where it was announced the CEO, president, and 3 senior staff were stepping down and/or let go this week).

To the tune of I Love It by Icona Pop (feat. Charli XCX)!

I got this feeling on the winter day when you were gone
You crashed your car into the bridge
I watched, you let it burn
You threw our shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs
You crashed your car into the bridge

I don’t care, I love it
I don’t care

I got this feeling on the winter day when you were gone
You crashed your car into the bridge
I watched, you let it burn
You threw our shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs
You crashed your car into the bridge

I don’t care, I love it
I don’t care

I’m on an Earthern road, you’re in the Milky Way
You want me down on earth, but you’re up in space
You’re so damn hard to find, that AI took over
You said it’d take our jobs, but it f*ck3d you over!

I love it
I love it

An Ode to Anders …

This is the story of a guy
Who tried to buy and drowned in paperwork
And while overwhelmed in bureaucracy
He decided to step up
And Focus!

How many days in a year?
He woke up with hope, but he only found tears?
Vendors could be so insincere
Making their promises never for real
As long as he stood there waiting
Finding the holes in the piece-mealed silos
How many days disappeared?
While he dealt with bad software
So what’s one to do?

POs never fare as well the next day
And your hair never falls out quite the same way
Ev’ry day yet another thing goes astray

This is the story of a guy
Who tried to buy and drowned in paperwork
And while overwhelmed in bureacuracy
He decided to step up
And Focus!

Now how many buyers would stay
Just to put up with this every day and all day?
Now how did we wind up this way
Watching our mouths for the words that we say?
As long as we stand there waiting
Finding the holes in the piece-mealed silos
How do we get there today
When we’re waiting too long for the price of our blues?

POs never fare as well the next day
And your hair never falls out quite the same way
Ev’ry day yet another thing goes astray

This is the story of a guy
Who tried to buy and drowned in paperwork
And while overwhelmed in bureaucracy
He decided to step up
And Focus!

(sung to the tune of “Absolutely” by “Nine Days”)

X

… Logged into Twitter just the other day
Just saw a Big X, seems the bird had flown away
It had two lines and one was double wide
I knew the letter, but I just could not surmise
… Musk didn’t leave a number, not an picture or a clue
But something in that pictogram reminded me of coup

Baby, Musk put the X on top
Voided years of trust and it makes me wanna stop
Baby, Musk put the X on top
Twitter’s going bye-bye, baby, ’cause the branding’s gonna flop

… I saw a sign in the middle of the night
Big flashing X, I was blinded by the light
She said “Oh yeah, you don’t want to be here”
I asked who was calling, but she just hung up in fear
… Sometimes you gotta suffer for the network that you seek
You’re beggin’ for connection but you only want to shriek

Baby, Musk put the X on top
Voided years of trust and it makes me wanna stop
Baby, Musk put the X on top
He thinks he is a master, but he just can’t compare to Aesop
… Oh yeah

I heard an app a-beepin’ so I clicked into the pane
It showed icons, pics, emojis, it’s like it was built to feign
It said that it was “happening“, but it didn’t give a clue
Then I saw that white on black X and I knew that we were screwed!

Baby, Musk put the X on top
Words have been displaced and our IQ’s* gonna drop
Baby, Musk put the X on top
A digital nightmare, it’s the new-age online horror shop!

… with sincere apologies to KISS.

* It’s Official! Twitter Has Made Us Dumber Than Goldfish!
Who’s Smarter? A Twitterer or a Pothead?
Has Twitter Already Turned Too Many Into Twits
Twitter Will Make a Twit Out Of You!

An Ode to Suites …

No matter what you think you’ve done
You’ll find it’s not enough
No matter what you think you know
Buyers have it tough

It’s a given, startup law
Someone’s faster on the draw
No matter where you hide
They’re comin’ after you

Now matter how the race is run
It always ends the same
Your customers abandon you
For a newer SaaS play

You can shake it for a while
Live it up in style
No matter what you do
They’re comin’ after you

Shakedown, breakdown, takedown
Everybody wants into the crowded space
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

Let down, your guard, honey
Just about the time you think that it’s alright
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

This is a town where everyone
Is racing for the top
This is a place where second best
… will never do

It’s O.K. to want to shine
But once you step across that line
No matter where you hide
They’re comin’ after you

Shakedown, breakdown, takedown
Everybody wants into the crowded light
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

Shakedown, breakdown, honey
Just about the time you think that it’s alright
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

Money For Nothing / Silicon Procurement

(the birth of the modern procurement, in song)
(to the tune of Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies by Weird Al Yankovic,
which is to the tune of Money for Nothing by Dire Straits)

Silicon
Silicon

Silicon Procurement

Huh, now look here people
Listen to my story
A little story ’bout a man named Glen
You know something, that poor veteran
They say he barely kept his teammates fed

Now let me tell you, one day he was workin’
Poor Glen was workin’ for some dude
When all of a sudden, from out of nowhere
Well, there can an idea crude

E-Auctions, well, maybe you call it
Yankee or Japanese
He gotta compete with Mr. Ellison
And be in Silicon Procurement

Before you know it, all the kinfolk are a-sayin’
Yeah, buddy, you gotta be there
That little mogul built up his value prop
That little mogul became a millionaire

Now everyone said California
Is the place that you oughta be
He gotta package his assets
He got to move to Californ-ee
Palo Alto

e-Auctions
Big savings across the board
Yes!
Look at that, look at that!

Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement
Y’all bid again, hear?
Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement
Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement
Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement