Category Archives: 101 Damnations

Procurement Damnation

To the tune of Rock ‘n’ Roll Damnation by AC/DC

They say that you are too proud
Well baby that’s tough
They say that you spend too much
Can’t save enough

And they all think you are a fool
Baby I’m a fool for you
They say that they are displeased, shaky stuff

It’s a Procurement damnation
You’re their whippin’ boy
Procurement damnation
Take control while you still got a voice

You say that you want respect
They say “For what?
For everything that you done for me,
Thanks a lot!”

Get up off your bended knees
Time to put your mind at ease
My temperature’s runnin’ hot
I been waitin’ all night
Take a bite from what they got

It’s a Procurement damnation
You’re their whippin’ boy
Procurement damnation
Take control while you still got the choice

It’s a hard life

Damnation, they’re putting you down
Damnation, all over town
Damnation, ’cause they’re way outta reach
Living on the street you gotta practice what they teach

And it’s a Procurement damnation
You’re their whippin’ boy
Procurement damnation
Take control while you still got the choice

Damnation, you left a happy home
Damnation, to strike out on your own
Damnation, you’re now living in sin

It’s a Procurement
Damnation, just a bundle of joy
Damnation, you’re a toy for a boy
Damnation, you got the dollars in your eye
Always chasin’ that pie in the sky

Procurement damnation

 

The Dirty Dozen (A 101 Damnations Preamble)

No, we are not referring to the 1967 Robert Aldrich war film based on E.M. Nathanson’s 1965 novel about 12 prisoners who are recruited for an attack on a chateau on the night before the D-Day invasion of June 6, but instead the 12 types of damnations that plague you and your Procurement organization on a daily basis.

As we indicated in yesterday’s post, there are dozens upon dozens of challenges being thrown at us on a daily basis. And whether or not they are hurled at us with malicious intent is irrelevant — they still cause us nothing but grief and agony and divert our attention away from strategic planning, (should-cost) modelling, and supply assurance.

In fact, as our upcoming series will unveil, there are (at least) 101 damnations that we have to contend with on a daily basis. And that’s too many to address without some sort of framework. That’s why we have the dirty dozen — the 12 factions of risk, stress, and, in some cases, even malice that attempt to thwart us at every turn and hasten our decline from the order we create with our awards and partnerships into the chaos that, in the end, brings about the downfall of every organization.
Need we remind you that three of the most profitable companies ever, adjusted for inflation, were the Dutch East India Company, the South Sea Company, and the Mississippi Company (which were worth approximately 7.4 Trillion, 4 Trillion, and 6 Trillion in 2012 dollars) are now defunct? Like the Microsoft, Apple, and Exxon-Mobil’s of today, they were worth more than many countries, but corruption, uncontrolled speculation, and the bursting of a real-estate bubble brought each of these companies to ruin.

In the series that follows we will address each of the primary damnations in each of these categories. However, before we begin, will define each of these categories so that you may get a glimpse of the terror within.

  • Economic
    Everything the economy can throw at you from fiscal crisis to currency shocks to employment swings and the shocks they bring to your supply chain.
  • Infrastructural
    Planes, Trains, and Automobiles; the tracks and roads they travel on; and the services (water, energy, waste, etc.) infrastructure we all rely on.
  • Environmental
    Resource shortages, waste and pollution, and the fury of mother earth.
  • Geopolitical
    Governmental spats, global treaties and embargoes, and political unrest.
  • Regulatory
    Taxes, trade requirements, material bans, and labeling requirements.
  • Societal
    Crime, piracy, fraud, corruption, education, talent, worker’s right, unionization and the whims of the masses.
  • Technological
    Production technology, cyberspace, 3-D printing, robotics, IP & patents, and quantum leaps.
  • Influential
    Analysts, pundits, consortiums, and conferences. Where does the pied piper lead the rats?
  • Organizational
    Engineering, Marketing, Sales, Legal, and every other department (that might be out to get you).

  • Authoritative
    Shareholders, the Board, and your activist investors.
  • Providers
    Suppliers, carriers, BPOs/GPOs, and everyone else who can pull the supply chain rug from under your feet.
  • Consumers
    Governments, corporations, end consumers and the dollars you depend on.

Happy New Year! Welcome to Hell.

One thing SI has always endeavoured to do is speak the truth. (That’s why there’s an ever-growing list of e-CHAOS vendors who will not have anything to do with SI and it’s no NDA, no play and no demo, no blog memo policy.) So SI is going to be the first blog to speak the truth and the truth is that, despite the ever growing importance of Procurement in a world where up to 80% of organizational spend is outside of its four walls, Procurement organizations still don’t get no respect. Whether they realize it or not, the average CPO is the Rodney Dangerfield of the C-Suite, except not nearly as popular. And that’s in the 9% of organizations lucky enough to have a CPO or a head of Procurement that sits at the table. Of the remaining 91% of organizations, only 51% have a CPO (or VP-level head of Procurement) and in the remaining 40% of organizations, there isn’t even a real Procurement organization with a real leader.

If Procurement organizations got the respect they deserved, not only would we have more than 9% of organizations with CPOs at the table, but 100% of these CPOs, instead of a mere 40%, would report to the CEO! While there are a few exceptions, they are as rare as a brass monkey’s red bollocks and even many of the situations where it looks like it is an exception, it’s not and the head of Procurement is probably walking around with a “kick-me” sign taped to her back.

But no respect is just the tip of the iceberg. When it comes to a day in the life of an average Procurement Professional, if that was all they had to deal with, life would be relatively easy. From the time they get up in the morning until the time they pass out, it’s one emergency after another, one demand after another, and one impossible goal after another. The shipment, that was never ordered, is late. Engineering needs more JIT configuration options. The C-Suite is demanding 8% savings on a category where the cost of the primary raw material, that constitutes 40% of the category cost, has risen 20% in the last year. (So even if there was 8% savings a year ago, that savings opportunity has now been cancelled out.)

And that’s just the internal stress. There are also dozens upon dozens of external economic, infrastructure, environmental, sustainability, geopolitical, regulatory, societal, customer, technological, and market stresses beating down on the Procurement organization on a daily basis. Currency strength is becoming unpredictable. Postal Services are deep in debt and would fail if not propped up by the government. Waste is becoming a serious problem and legislations are cropping up around the globe banning certain substances that lead to dangerous and toxic waste. Natural and man-made disasters are increasing at a rampant pace (and expected to increase five-fold over the next fifty years) and causing supply chain disruptions left, right, and centre. Governments are enacting new trade legislation and embargoes overnight. Tariff codes, updated weekly in some countries, are becoming nearly impossible to comprehend. Brand value is becoming more important than product quality. Technologies are changing faster than an organization can adapt. The market is in a constant state of flux. And the organization is united against you.

And even though proper Procurement is the one saving grace an organization has amidst the chaos of the modern global marketplace, Procurement professionals in many organizations have been relegated to hell. While Engineering, which only has to deal with Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light, has it made, Procurement is still locked in the boiler room, and that’s only because the average organization runs out of an office building. (If businesses were run out of castles, Procurement would be in the dungeon.)

To prove my point, if Procurement got the respect it deserved in many organizations, it wouldn’t be fighting hopeless battles for budgets of less than 100K to get started on its e-Sourcing or e-Procurement journey, to bring in category experts who can often save ten times their fee on a large category, to get its team the training it needs, or to hire enough man-power to make sure that even if there isn’t enough time to strategically source the top 80% of the spend under its purview, that spend would at least be under management and tracked for future analysis and strategic sourcing. But most Procurement organizations are under-staffed, under-trained, and under-funded and expected to deliver miracles with faxes, spreadsheets, and a copy of the Wall Street Journal.

It’s hell. And we’re kidding ourselves if we don’t admit that it’s going to stay that way. But all is not lost. As the saying goes, it’s better to reign in hell than serve in heaven — and there’s no better time to make it happen than now, the 443rd year (20156). Not only is 443 a very special year as it is a rare prime (Eisenstein, Chen and Sophe-Germaine), but it’s the port number for HTTPS. It’s geeky, but so are the big brains we use to do our jobs. So in this, the 443rd, we’re going to learn what we need to in order to secure our rightful place in the organization.

So how are we going to rule in hell? First we’re going to learn to conquer every seemingly impossible task that our enemies throw our way. Then we’re going to use their own sins against them to take control. How are we going to do that? We’re going to start by studying the internal and external stresses that plague our existence so that we may learn to overcome them. Once we understand what we’re up against, we can formulate a game plan to come out on top. And once we’ve conquered all that is thrown at us, we can learn how to exploit the weaknesses of those who would stand against us. Only then will the days of the mad men be numbered and only then will we, by hook or by crook, begin to take our rightful place as the left hand of the CEO while the COO, CIO, and CMO cower at our feet (as the importance of all but the CFO, who will be fully dependent on our success, and the CEO, who will be forever in our debt, will be minimized).

However, this won’t be an easy task. Our enemies are many and the challenges they throw at us appear to be without end. But while there is infinite variety in their assaults, the enemies we have are aligned into only a dozen or so factions and the challenges they devise are usually variations on a dozen themes. It’s a long list, but, at least for the time being, a numerable one.

So, starting next week, we are going to enumerate this list, one by one, in our ground breaking, illuminating, blog series: 101 Damnations. (Because 50 Shades of Pay doesn’t even tell half of the story!)

It’s time to get started. LOLCat is waiting for us to complete our journey.