Category Archives: humour

YOUR SI (Repost)

To the tune of “UHF
by Weird Al Yankovic, who completed the soundtrack to the cult classic UHF 30 years ago today.

Put down your old-school textbook
Throw out your online Guide
Put away your jacket
There’s no need to go outside

Don’t you know that we control the horizontal
We control the vertical, too
We gonna make a sourcing leader out of you
That’s what we gonna do now

Make it your home-page
Don’t touch that dial
We got it all on Your SI!

Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on Your SI!

Don’t worry ’bout ISM
Forget about the glitz
Just resize the window
And kill your favorites
We got it all, we got it all,
we got it all on Your SI!

Disconnect the landline and leave the iPhone in the drawer
You better put away your paper
Prime time ain’t no time to weave
Time to go and make yourself a TV dinner
Press your face right up against the screen
We gonna tell you things you’ll wanna believe
If you know what I mean, now

Make it your home-page
Don’t touch that dial
We got it all on Your SI!

Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on Your SI!

Don’t worry ’bout ISM
Forget about the glitz
Just resize the window
And kill your favorites
We got it all, we got it all,
we got it all on Your SI!

UHF should be your Procurement cult classic.  It was the first movie to teach us what happens if we try to drink from the firehose, attend an expert class as a beginner, or don’t keep track of what is in the supplies closet. 😉

Twitter (Repost)

Originally posted eleven years ago today.  Nothing has changed.

To the tune of Strutter by KISS.

I know a thing or two about it
I know it’s only for the brief
It lets you send texts to the masses
As long as you can speak in tweets

Everybody says its looking good
But I know they’ve misunderstood
Twitter

It claims to be web 2 point zero
But I know its just web point one
You send a text and it says maybe, Nero
Then the next one causes Rome to burn

Everybody says its looking good
But I know they’ve misunderstood
Twitter

I know a thing or two about it
I know that it’s not for the wise
Spend your whole life speaking sound-bites
Like celebrities high as a kite

Everybody says its looking good
But I know they’ve misunderstood
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter

I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror! (10 year anniversary)

The Global Sourceror’s Song


I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror,
With information analytic, subjective, and objector,
I know the rights of charter, and I quote the rates historical
From Vancouver to Singapore, in order categorical;

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the lin’r and quadratical,
About scenarios optimized, I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes.

With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes
With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes
With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes


I’m very good at direct and indirect spend analysis
I know the HTS codes of products electronicalculous
In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
I am the very model of a modern global sourceror

In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
He is the very model of a modern global sourceror


I know our mythic history, Free Markets and Markets B2E
I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for oddities
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of the major analysts
In auctions I can floor peculiarities ridiculous

I can tell undoubted RFPs from RFQs from RFIs
I know the croaking chorus from the mouths of the vendor sales guys
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the vendor’s pitch before
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor


Then I can write a shipping bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev’ry detail of Custom’s CBP import form
In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
I am the very model of a modern global sourceror

In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
He is the very model of a modern global sourceror


In fact, when I know what is meant by “Dutch Auction” and “Japanese”
When I can tell at sight a credit letter from a guarantee
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”

When I have learnt what process has been made in modern procurement
When I know more of tactics than a novice in an internment
In short, when I’ve a smattering of arbitration strategy
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee

You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee


For my global sourcing knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror

But still, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
He is the very model of a modern Global Sourceror!

As posted ten years ago!

The Content Art (Repost)


Upstart Blog
Upstart Blog
Blog Upstart
That Blog Upstart!
That Blog Upstart!
I do not like
that Blog Upstart!

Do you like
the content art?
I do not like it,
Blog Upstart.
I do not like
the content art.

Would you like it
here or there?
I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
the content art.
I do not like it,
Blog Upstart.

Would you like it
on the page?
Would you like it
from a sage?
I do not like it
on the page.
I do not like it
from a sage.
I do not like it
here or there.
I do not like it
anywhere.I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

Would you read it
in a box?
Would you read it
in your socks?
Not in a box.
Not in my socks.
Not on the page
Not from a sage.
I would not read it here or there.
I would not read it anywhere.
I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Read it! Read it!
Here they are.
I would not,
could not,
in a car.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
in a tree!
I would not, could not, in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it in my socks.
I do not like it on the page.
I do not like it from a sage.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Blog, let me be!I would not, could not, in a box.
I would not, could not, in my socks.
I will not read it on the page.
I will not read it from a sage.
I will not read it here or there
I will not read it anywhere.
I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like it, Blog, you see.
Not on the page. Not in a box.
Not from a sage. Not in my socks.
I will not read it here or there.
I will not read it anywhere.

You do not like
the content art?
I do not like it,
Blog Upstart.

Could you, would you, in your coat?
I would not, could not, in my coat.

Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, in my coat.
I will not read it in the rain.
I will not read it on a train.
Not in the dark. Not in a tree.
Not in a car. You let me be.
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it in my socks.
I will not read it on the page.
I will not read it from a sage.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE.I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

You do not like it.
So you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Blog!
If you will let me be.
I will try it.
You will see.Say!
I like the content art.
I do! I like it, Blog Upstart.
And I would read it in a boat.
And I would read it in my coat.

And I will read it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
It is so good, so good, you see!

So I will read it in a box.
And I will read it in my socks.
And I will read it on the page.
And I will read it from a sage.
And I will read it here and there.
And I will read it anywhere.

I do so like
the content art.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Blog Upstart.