Category Archives: humour

I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror! (10 year anniversary)

The Global Sourceror’s Song


I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror,
With information analytic, subjective, and objector,
I know the rights of charter, and I quote the rates historical
From Vancouver to Singapore, in order categorical;

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the lin’r and quadratical,
About scenarios optimized, I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes.

With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes
With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes
With many baseline costs for the choice of the blue ocean routes


I’m very good at direct and indirect spend analysis
I know the HTS codes of products electronicalculous
In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
I am the very model of a modern global sourceror

In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
He is the very model of a modern global sourceror


I know our mythic history, Free Markets and Markets B2E
I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for oddities
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of the major analysts
In auctions I can floor peculiarities ridiculous

I can tell undoubted RFPs from RFQs from RFIs
I know the croaking chorus from the mouths of the vendor sales guys
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the vendor’s pitch before
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor


Then I can write a shipping bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev’ry detail of Custom’s CBP import form
In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
I am the very model of a modern global sourceror

In short, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
He is the very model of a modern global sourceror


In fact, when I know what is meant by “Dutch Auction” and “Japanese”
When I can tell at sight a credit letter from a guarantee
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”

When I have learnt what process has been made in modern procurement
When I know more of tactics than a novice in an internment
In short, when I’ve a smattering of arbitration strategy
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee

You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee


For my global sourcing knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror

But still, in matters analytic, subjective, and objector
He is the very model of a modern Global Sourceror!

As posted ten years ago!

The Content Art (Repost)


Upstart Blog
Upstart Blog
Blog Upstart
That Blog Upstart!
That Blog Upstart!
I do not like
that Blog Upstart!

Do you like
the content art?
I do not like it,
Blog Upstart.
I do not like
the content art.

Would you like it
here or there?
I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
the content art.
I do not like it,
Blog Upstart.

Would you like it
on the page?
Would you like it
from a sage?
I do not like it
on the page.
I do not like it
from a sage.
I do not like it
here or there.
I do not like it
anywhere.I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

Would you read it
in a box?
Would you read it
in your socks?
Not in a box.
Not in my socks.
Not on the page
Not from a sage.
I would not read it here or there.
I would not read it anywhere.
I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Read it! Read it!
Here they are.
I would not,
could not,
in a car.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
in a tree!
I would not, could not, in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it in my socks.
I do not like it on the page.
I do not like it from a sage.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Blog, let me be!I would not, could not, in a box.
I would not, could not, in my socks.
I will not read it on the page.
I will not read it from a sage.
I will not read it here or there
I will not read it anywhere.
I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like it, Blog, you see.
Not on the page. Not in a box.
Not from a sage. Not in my socks.
I will not read it here or there.
I will not read it anywhere.

You do not like
the content art?
I do not like it,
Blog Upstart.

Could you, would you, in your coat?
I would not, could not, in my coat.

Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, in my coat.
I will not read it in the rain.
I will not read it on a train.
Not in the dark. Not in a tree.
Not in a car. You let me be.
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it in my socks.
I will not read it on the page.
I will not read it from a sage.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE.I do not like the content art.
I do not like it, Blog Upstart.

You do not like it.
So you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Blog!
If you will let me be.
I will try it.
You will see.Say!
I like the content art.
I do! I like it, Blog Upstart.
And I would read it in a boat.
And I would read it in my coat.

And I will read it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
It is so good, so good, you see!

So I will read it in a box.
And I will read it in my socks.
And I will read it on the page.
And I will read it from a sage.
And I will read it here and there.
And I will read it anywhere.

I do so like
the content art.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Blog Upstart.

Buying Time

While you reflect on how far you didn’t get over the last decade, here’s a classic from a decade ago …

To the tune of Closing Time by Semisonic.

Buying time – time for you to go out, go out and meet the day
Buying time – turn the lights on your suppliers near and far away
Buying time – one month left on the contract, so finish your auction or quote
Buying time – you don’t have to decide if you call a vote

You know who you want to win the bid
You know who you want to win the bid
You know who you want to win the bid
win the bid …

Buying time – time for you to rank the responses you get from the crowd
Buying time – your work won’t be finished ’til your team-mates and bosses are cowed
So gather up your courage, and move it to completion – I hope you still have a friend
Buying time – every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

Yeah, You know who you want to win the bid
You know who you want to win the bid
You know who you want to win the bid
win the bid…

Buying time – time for you to go back to the market your goods come from…

You know who you want to win the bid
You know who you want to win the bid
You know who you want to win the bid
win the bid…

Buying time – every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…