Category Archives: Lyrics

X

… Logged into Twitter just the other day
Just saw a Big X, seems the bird had flown away
It had two lines and one was double wide
I knew the letter, but I just could not surmise
… Musk didn’t leave a number, not an picture or a clue
But something in that pictogram reminded me of coup

Baby, Musk put the X on top
Voided years of trust and it makes me wanna stop
Baby, Musk put the X on top
Twitter’s going bye-bye, baby, ’cause the branding’s gonna flop

… I saw a sign in the middle of the night
Big flashing X, I was blinded by the light
She said “Oh yeah, you don’t want to be here”
I asked who was calling, but she just hung up in fear
… Sometimes you gotta suffer for the network that you seek
You’re beggin’ for connection but you only want to shriek

Baby, Musk put the X on top
Voided years of trust and it makes me wanna stop
Baby, Musk put the X on top
He thinks he is a master, but he just can’t compare to Aesop
… Oh yeah

I heard an app a-beepin’ so I clicked into the pane
It showed icons, pics, emojis, it’s like it was built to feign
It said that it was “happening“, but it didn’t give a clue
Then I saw that white on black X and I knew that we were screwed!

Baby, Musk put the X on top
Words have been displaced and our IQ’s* gonna drop
Baby, Musk put the X on top
A digital nightmare, it’s the new-age online horror shop!

… with sincere apologies to KISS.

* It’s Official! Twitter Has Made Us Dumber Than Goldfish!
Who’s Smarter? A Twitterer or a Pothead?
Has Twitter Already Turned Too Many Into Twits
Twitter Will Make a Twit Out Of You!

An Ode to Suites …

No matter what you think you’ve done
You’ll find it’s not enough
No matter what you think you know
Buyers have it tough

It’s a given, startup law
Someone’s faster on the draw
No matter where you hide
They’re comin’ after you

Now matter how the race is run
It always ends the same
Your customers abandon you
For a newer SaaS play

You can shake it for a while
Live it up in style
No matter what you do
They’re comin’ after you

Shakedown, breakdown, takedown
Everybody wants into the crowded space
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

Let down, your guard, honey
Just about the time you think that it’s alright
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

This is a town where everyone
Is racing for the top
This is a place where second best
… will never do

It’s O.K. to want to shine
But once you step across that line
No matter where you hide
They’re comin’ after you

Shakedown, breakdown, takedown
Everybody wants into the crowded light
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

Shakedown, breakdown, honey
Just about the time you think that it’s alright
Breakdown, takedown, you’re ousted

Money For Nothing / Silicon Procurement

(the birth of the modern procurement, in song)
(to the tune of Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies by Weird Al Yankovic,
which is to the tune of Money for Nothing by Dire Straits)

Silicon
Silicon

Silicon Procurement

Huh, now look here people
Listen to my story
A little story ’bout a man named Glen
You know something, that poor veteran
They say he barely kept his teammates fed

Now let me tell you, one day he was workin’
Poor Glen was workin’ for some dude
When all of a sudden, from out of nowhere
Well, there can an idea crude

E-Auctions, well, maybe you call it
Yankee or Japanese
He gotta compete with Mr. Ellison
And be in Silicon Procurement

Before you know it, all the kinfolk are a-sayin’
Yeah, buddy, you gotta be there
That little mogul built up his value prop
That little mogul became a millionaire

Now everyone said California
Is the place that you oughta be
He gotta package his assets
He got to move to Californ-ee
Palo Alto

e-Auctions
Big savings across the board
Yes!
Look at that, look at that!

Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement
Y’all bid again, hear?
Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement
Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement
Silicon, Silicon, Silicon Procurement

Buying for a Living

Somedays won’t end ever
But no days pass on by,
I’ll be buying here forever,
At least until I die,
Dammed if I source,
Dammed if I don’t
I’m supposed to get a break next week,
you know damn well I won’t.

Buyin’ for a livin’ (Buyin’)
Buyin’ for a livin’ (Buyin’)
Buyin’ for a livin’, livin’ and a-buyin’
I’m taking what they’re giving, ’cause I’m buying for a living

Hey I’m not complaining ’cause someone needs to spend
But beating up the vendor got me feeling fully spent
Hundred dollar cell phone, two hundred shipped
A new budget on Friday, but it’s already stripped

Buyin’ for a livin’ (Buyin’)
Buyin’ for a livin’ (Buyin’)
Buyin’ for a livin’, livin’ and a-buyin’
I’m taking what they’re giving ’cause I’m buying for a living

Whoa, buyin’ for a livin’ whoa, taking what they’re givin’
Whoa, buyin’ for a livin’ whoa, ooh

Sales rep, marketer, customer service
CEO, PR rep, account manager
Working the trade shows, they’re really all the same
Selling goods, creating need, just another day

Buyin’ for a livin’ (Buyin’)
Buyin’ for a livin’ (Buyin’)
Buyin’ for a livin’, livin’ and a-buyin’
I’m taking what they’re giving ’cause I’m buying for a living.

Buyin’ for a livin’, livin’ and Buyin’
I’m taking what they’re giving ’cause I’m Buying for a living.

Use IT or Lose IT!

No-bid quick buy, another overspend
You know Finance wasn’t involved again
I said hey, you, what you gonna do …
when audit comes for you?

Use it or lose it
Sweet pain is the name of the game
I said hey, hey, hey

You better use it, before you lose it
You better use it, don’t throw it away, hey
You better use it, before you lose it
You better use it, don’t throw it away, hey
Hey, hey, hey, don’t throw it away, hey

e-Sourcing, e-Procurement tools
Now online SaaSApps, subscription pools
I said hey, you, what you gonna do …
when audit comes for you?

Use it or lose it
Process is on your side
I said hey (hey), hey, hey, hey

You better use it, before you lose it
You better use it, don’t throw it away, hey
You better use it, before you lose it
You better use it, don’t throw it away, hey
Hey, hey, hey, don’t throw it away, hey

Sweet pain is the name of the game
I said hey, hey, hey

You better use it, before you lose it
You better use it, don’t throw it away, hey
You better use it, before you lose it
You better use it, don’t throw it away, hey
Hey, hey, hey, don’t throw it away, hey

Don’t throw it away.