Category Archives: humour

Infinite Scroll

Infinite scroll, I just can’t abide.
Infinity is hard to comprehend.
You wouldn’t hear my screams,
Even in your wildest dreams.

Suffocation as I scroll the page.
Scared to load the next site
In case the scroll begins again.
Content changing, it will not fix.
Ever flashing, nightmare’s Styx.
Online haze, when will it end?
And will I transcend?

Restless browse, the mind’s in turmoil!
One nightmare ends another fertile.
Getting to me, too drained to surf.
But scared to leave now, too immersed.

Now that it has reached new heights,
I do not like the restless nights.
It makes me wonder, it makes me think,
How’d we get to this? We’re on the brink!
We should be scared of what’s beyond.
Someday our brains might not respond.
We had an interest almost craving,
but do we want to get too far in?

It can’t be all coincidence!
Too many things are evident.
You tell me you’re an unbeliever.
Technophobic? Well me I’m neither!
But wouldn’t you like to know the truth,
Of what’s beyond, to have the proof!
And find out just where we’re heading’?
Techtopia? Or to Armageddon?

Help me, help me to find
the true path without seeing the future.
Save us, oh save us from
torturing ourselves, unnecessarily.

There’s got to be
More to it than this.
Or tell me why the web exists?
I’d like to think that we evolved,
and our sins have been absolved,
as technology resolved,
limitations of the past
and evolved to the point where it can be grasped!

With many, many apologies to Harris.

And, in case it isn’t totally obvious, the doctor, who has already asked what idiots brought back infinite scrolling websites, would really like to see those idiots tarred and feathered. (If they can bring back infinite scroll, which is where we started back when all we had was HTML 1.0, then we can bring back tar and feathering!)

Fifty-Five Years Ago Today

Theodore H. Maiman operates the first functioning optical (ruby) laser at Hughes Research Laboratories, Malibu, California, and making possible all of the technologies we use on a daily basis including, but not limited to, optical drives, laser printers, barcode scanners, and, most importantly, finer-optics. There would be no modern information technology without the laser, and we’d still be on electronic bulletin boards if we had to still dial up to the internet over copper.

What do you think LOLCats?

Best Invention. Evah!!!

Happy 65th, EU!

I know you’re probably thinking the doctor is being a little loose with his own prescription pad, as the EU officially came into being on November 1, 1993 under the Maastricht Treaty, but this was just the evolution of the European Economic Community (EEC) that was formed by the Inner Six countries on January 1, 1958 under the Treaty of Rome. But before then came the European Coal and Steel Community (ECSC) which was formally established by the Treaty of Paris on April 18, 1951 by the same Inner Six countries, and this was the net result of the Schuman Declaration, made 65 years ago today, by the French Foreign Minister Robert Schuman to create a new form of organization of states in Europe called a supranational community which was the real beginning of the modern EU.

So if you think about it, the EU isn’t the 22 year old new kid on the block (not to be confused with the new kids on the block that formed in 1984 to unleash boy band hysteria on the world, presumably to usher in the Orwellian era through omni-present pop), but the freshly minted senior who’s been around through three generations.

What do you have to say, señor LOLCat?

I guess the current economic crises in Greece, exacerbated by the slow recovery of Cyprus, has made LOLCat a little cranky.