Pinky and the Brain
They’re Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
One is a genius, the other is insane
They’re advertising guys
Their mind is on the prize
They’re dinky
They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Before each night is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
Take over the sourcing world
They’re Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain
To prove their sourcing grace
They’ll overthrow the space
They’re dinky
They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, NARF!
| Pinky | Gee Brain, what are we going to do tonight? |
| Brain | Same thing we do every night Pinky – try to take over the Sourcing World! |
| Pinky | How are we going to do that, Brain? Narf? |
| Brain | Remember last night’s lesson Pinky? Where I explained to you that we are going to market our strategy to take over the sourcing world? |
| Pinky | And what’s our strategy again Brain? |
| Brain | Come here, Pinky. |
| Pinky | OK, Brain. |
| Brain | Closer, Pinky. |
| Pinky | Why Brain? Narf! |
| Brain | Brain jumps up and conks Pinky on the head. For that! |
| Pinky | What’cha do that for, Brain? |
| Brain | Because last night’s lesson in marketing took ALL night. Even an ADD chimpanzee hyped up on caffeine would remember it. We didn’t even get started on our plan to take over the world! |
| Pinky | What was it about again, Brain? |
| Brain | About marketing our strategy to the Napoleons who also want to take over the sourcing world! They will serve as our lieutenants as I lead us to victory! |
| Pinky | I remember now Brain! Nog! It was about how the world shares cheese and neapolitan ice cream and that’s why we have to take over the entire sourcing world at once! |
| Brain | Yes, Pinky. If it makes it easier for your little pea-brain to understand, it’s about how the world shares cheese and neapolitan ice cream and that’s why we have to take over the entire sourcing world at once. But now that we’ve settled that, as part of our plan to market our strategy to take over the sourcing world, we need to create content that the Napoleons of tomorrow will want to read. We need to make sure that our first piece of content is really riveting. |
| Pinky | We’re not going to play in the toolbox again, are we Brain? Last time the hammer fell on my foot, it really, really hurt. |
| Brain | No Pinky, we’re not going to play in the toolbox again. We’re going to come up with inspirational content that will draw the Napoleons in like flies to a barn. |
| Pinky | How are we going to do that, Brain? |
| Brain | I’m working on it. Brain paces the floor for a few minutes in deep thought. He stops just as a look of evil inspiration crosses his face. Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering? |
| Pinky | I think so, Brain, but I don’t see how hiring Britney as a personal life coach is going to help us with our image problem. |
| Brain | No, you twit! We use the strategy of our biggest competitor, whose name I shall not utter, and find our own analyst or blogger who will write great content for us and then simply usurp that content to create our sourcing world domination web site. Since the central content will come from a trusted and credible source, our new site will be trusted and credible as soon as it launches. The Napoleons will flock to it! They’ll assume that because we too are smart enough to recognize the intelligence of the analyst or blogger, that we too must have intelligent things to say. So they’ll also read the messages we want them to read, and if we craft those messages carefully around the usurped content, a few of these Napoleons will buy in. They’ll spread the message and convince the other Napoleons. Soon we’ll have our own Napoleon army – and the sourcing world will be powerless to stop us! |
| Pinky | But how are we going to do that, Brain? Unlike the competitor whose name you will not utter, who has a much bigger budget than we do, I don’t think we can afford to buy off any bloggers or analysts – except for that firm downtown, but their reputation seems to be fading – and I get the impression that most of the bloggers and analysts with the reputations we’d want don’t really like us very much. |
| Brain | I know, Pinky. Which is why, instead of buying them off, we’re going to confuse them with humility. |
| Pinky | I don’t think that’s going to work, Brain. Some of them are pretty smart! Narf! |
| Brain | It only has to work long enough for them to take a close look at our new hypno-spend tool, Pinky. |
| Pinky | The what? |
| Brain | The hypno-spend tool. It’s our slicked up spend reporting demo tool with a brand new UI that uses pleasing colors, smooth curves, tranquil sound effects, and spinning coins to signal screen changes. When paired with our new demo specialist, whose soothing voice sounds just like Ben Stein, who has extensive training in hypnotism and suggestion, no one can resist our story that automated cleansing is the key to spend analysis. |
| Pinky | But I thought analytics capability was the key to spend analysis, Brain! Narf! |
| Brain | Smack! Brain smacks Pinky upside the head again. I told you never to say that again! |
| Pinky | I’m sorry, Brain. |
| Brain | As I was saying, five minutes into the demo with our new hypno-spend tool, and they’ll believe the moon is made of green cheese! |
| Pinky | Green Cheese! Yum! Can I have some, Brain? |
| Brain | Pinky, you fool! I was just using a metaphor! |
| Pinky | A metal floor? Like the one in our cage? |
| Brain | No – a metaphor. Where you use a set of words to represent a concept. |
| Pinky | Oh. |
| Brain | Would you like a demo, Pinky! |
| Pinky | Sure Brain. |
| Brain | Pinky, Feast your eyes on the hypno-spend tool! |
| Dot | Oooh! Pretty Colors! |
| Brain | Dot! What are you doing here? |
| Pinky | Dot? Dot! It’s good to see you! It’s been … it’s been … |
| Brain | Years! Dot, what are you doing here? |
| Dot | I came to say hello! |
| Pinky | But didn’t Mr. Plotz forbid you from ever setting foot in this building? |
| Dot | He did. But he also let us go. |
| Pinky | Go where? |
| Brain | She was fired, you twit! |
| Pinky | Set on fire? Gosh! That sounds painful. |
| Brain | No, no, NO, Pinky. She means she doesn’t work there anymore. |
| Pinky | Oh. |
| Dot | Yes, I’m free. Free to find new opportunities. Free to explore the sourcing world! Free to look at applications with such pretty colors! |
| Brain | Do you like it? It’s our new prototype hypno-spend tool. |
| Dot | Hypno-whattie? |
| Brain | Hypno-spend tool. When it’s combined with our master Ben-Stein sound-alike hypnotist, anyone who sits through a five minute demo will believe that automated cleansing is the ultimate key to spend analysis! |
| Dot | Okay. Whatever. I just think it’s pretty. But I think it would be even prettier with swirling pink instead of swirling purple. |
| Pinky | Hey, that’s a great idea, Narf! |
| Dot | Let me fix it for you! |
| Brain | No! Don’t touch that! It’s still a prototype! There’s only two copies – one on the computer and one on the portable hard-drive! |
| Dot | Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing! |
| Pinky | Ooh! That’s sooo pretty! |
| Dot | Just wait until you see … oops! |
| Brain | Oops? What did you do? |
| Dot | Well … you had your keys mapped a little differently than I’m used to … I kinda deleted it! |
| Brain | DOT! |
| Dot | You have a back-up, right? |
| Brain | Of course I have a back-up. Pinky, hand me the back-up. |
| Pinky | The what? |
| Brain | The external hard drive. The shiny metal box I asked you to keep safe. |
| Pinky | Oh, that. Just a sec, Brain. I’ll go get it. Pinky disappears for a few seconds. He returns with an extra shiny external hard drive. Here you go, Brain! |
| Brain | Pinky, why does it feel a little bit damp? |
| Pinky | Well, you told me to store it in the safest place I know, and the safest place I know is under my water bowl? |
| Brain | You what?! Don’t you know that water shorts out electronics? |
| Dot | Oh, don’t worry so much big Brain. I’m sure it’s okay. |
| Pinky | Yeah, Brain! Nog! It’s just a little water! |
| Brain | Let’s see it! Brain hooks up the external hard drive. He hits the power switch. Ka-Boom! Piinnkkyy! |
| Pinky | Yes, Brain? |
| Brain | It’s time to return to the marketing cage. |
| Pinky | Why, Brain? |
| Brain | To prepare for tomorrow night. |
| Pinky | What are we going to do tomorrow night? Narf! |
| Brain | The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the sourcing world! Good night, Dot. |
| Dot | Good night! |
Pinky and the Brain
They’re Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
One is a genius, the other is insane
They’re advertising guys
Their mind is on the prize
They’re dinky
They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Before each night is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
Take over the sourcing world
They’re Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain
To prove their sourcing grace
They’ll overthrow the space
They’re dinky
They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, NARF!