Category Archives: Lyrics

… Then I Take Purchasing

Inspired by the great Leonard Cohen‘s First We Take Manhattan:

… Then I Take Purchasing

They sentenced me to thirty years of boredom
For trying to change the system from within
I’m coming now, I’m coming to reward them
First I take Corp’rate Finance, then I take Purchasing

I’m guided by a signal in the heavens
I’m guided by this birthmark on my skin
I’m guided by the beauty of my weapon
First I take Corp’rate Finance, then I take Purchasing

I do not like to live beside you, baby
I fear your body and your spirit and your clothes
But you see that line there moving through the station?
I told you, I told you, told you, I was one of those

Ah you loved me as a loser, but now you’re worried that I just might win
You know the way to stop me, but you don’t have the discipline
How many nights I prayed for this, to let my work begin
First I take Corp’rate Finance, then I take Purchasing

I don’t like your fashion business mister
And I don’t like the tainted money you take in
I don’t like what happened to my sister
First I take Corp’rate Finance, then I take Purchasing

I do not like to live beside you, baby …

And I thank you for those items that you sent me
The monkey and the plywood violin
I practiced every night, now I’m ready
First I take Corp’rate Finance, then I take Purchasing

I am guided

Ah remember me, I used to live for content
Remember me, I brought your traffic in
Well it’s Veteran’s Day and everybody’s wounded
First I take Corp’rate Finance, then I take Purchasing

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels

In honour of the Occupy Suburbia movement, I give you, to the tune of Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue:

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels

Friday night and I need to eat
Some vegetables and a slice of meat
A slice of bread and a side of slaw
Would go quite well inside my gaping maw

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Short legs and feathery tails
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Running wild through the hay bales
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Flat ears, Racoon trails

It’s too late, they’re in charge
From suburb’s edge to your backyard
Red Tail squirrels and they can’t be beat
Drive you out of your home and into the street

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
In your pool house and at the pool side
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Taking over your dwelling, it’s a red tide
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Raising Hell in your kitchen with pride

Have you read the news
In the Soho Tribune
Ya know they marched in
and then they demanded pie

We thought we were neighbours
On two sides of the door
I tell ya what, man
They moved in, the occupation began
I don’t know the story
Or if they’ve got a plan

Suburbia, Your Town, Now
They’ll get inside, I don’t know how
Looking for pie, goodies, and treats
Cream filled twinkies and other good eats

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Lead the charge, for pie they’ll trot
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
They want Crisco in every crockpot!

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels

Five Long Years

Well I know you
Like your RSS feed
And you’re readin’ these posts each day
And they have grown on you

Well don’t worry
I don’t intend to make things strange
And there’s a reason that things change
There’s nothin’ you can do

And it’s been five long years
Since you’ve seen with weary eyes
Your mind has grown
And sees right through the market lies
the doctor still loves you
you know that’ll never change
Yes it’s been five long years
and now SI must feed the flame

When you read this
do you remember the days when
the wire was void of useful content;
the blog was new, time was on your side
you learned
from the knowledge
and you adhered to the lessons within
a light on the truth
when the space was dark, yeah

And it’s been five long years
Since you’ve seen with weary eyes
Your mind has grown
And sees right through the market lies
the doctor still loves you
you know that’ll never change
Yes it’s been five long years
and now SI must feed the flame

Oh, yeah
Five long years
Five long years

Five long years
Since you’ve seen with weary eyes
Your mind has grown
And sees right through the market lies

  and sees right through the market lies

the doctor still loves you
you know that’ll never change
Yes it’s been five long years
and now SI must feed the flame
Yes it’s been five long years
and now SI must feed the flame
Yes it’s been five long years
but now he must feed the flame

Oh yeah
Five long years
Five long years

I Want Ranting


To the tune of I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow

I know a blog that’s tough but fair
It’s so fine you can’t compare
It’s got everything that you desire
Lights the blogsphere on brush fire

I want ranting
I want ranting

Time to read it when the sun goes down
Ain’t no finer blog in town
It’s my fix, just what the doctor prescibed
So blunt, it makes me feel alive

I want ranting
I want ranting

Out on the web, there’s nothing so fine
And all of the posts are free from vendor bribes
Some day soon truth will be mine
And we’ll read SI all the time

I want ranting
I want ranting

Geek Cat Says

You know I never
I never heard you talk so good
You never chat the way you should
But I like it
And I know you like it too
The way that I want you
I gotta have you
Oh yes, I do

You know I never
I never ever get home late
You know that I can hardly wait
Just to ping you
And I know you cannot wait
Wait to ping me too
I gotta chat you
Cause baby we’ll be

On the Facebook
In the Farmville pen
Behind the bushes
Until I’m begging again
In the chartroom
Lock the public out
And baby
Talk qwerty to me

With apologies to Poison.