Maybe this is how they secure their facilities …
Maybe this is how they’ll transport your livestock …
And maybe this is the limo they have waiting to take you on the factory tour …
Category Archives: humour
The Last Nova Scotian Pirate
If the economy doesn’t get better soon, this may just be the doctor‘s next job 
. After all, we already have pirates on Lake Erie.
The Last Nova Scotian Pirate
I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the county line
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
And the bankers came and took my land and told me “fair is fair”
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “we just let twenty go!”
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought, who gives a damn if no job awaits?
I’m gonna be a PIRATE on the Northumberland Strait!
And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia‘s mighty shores
Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge inside of Canso spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a’quiver
Cause they know that Captain Doctor‘s hidin’ in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!
And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline cause he didn’t own a boat
But cutbacks were a’comin’ and the Mountie lost his job
So now he’s sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin’ sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the HST (SCREW IT!!)
Sailin down to Pictou, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Well, Pirate life’s appealing but you just don’t find it here,
I hear in North Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort McKay
And you’re gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way!
Well, winter is a’comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the strait begins to freeze
I’ll be back in springtime, but now I have to go
I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico!
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Sung to The Last Saskatchewan Pirate
(and I strongly recommend you give The Last Saskatchewan Pirate a listen)
(Yes, the doctor is Proud to be Canadian.)
I Hope You Take More Care With Your RFP Responses Than This!
Courtesy of the FAIL Blog
If your price changes sporadically every time you quote, for no apparent reason, you’re not going to look very organized!
Anyway, maybe this is why Wal-Mart changed their slogan from “Always Low Prices” to “Save Money. Live Better” because, as Vinnie recently pointed out, not all prices have been rolling back at Wal-Mart lately. Vinnie notes (as I have also noticed) that Mach3 Razors and dog food have been rising inexplicably, and I once walked into Walmart to pick up a can of coffee that was advertised at 4.97 the week before to find it had increased 60% to 7.97. So, while you will live better if you save money, you might not necessarily be saving that money at Wal-Mart.
Why Communication Is Critically Important
A recent rant on 1938 Media from Joseph Jaffe of Jaffe Juice does one of the best jobs I’ve ever seen on emphasizing the importance of good customer communication. Don’t brush it off as just an American Express Failure, because it could be yours!
Vendor of the Week
He gives his pitch and he don’t know
She’s got another on the phone
He’ll don the suit
Her fleeting gaze … is all she gives to him
And she’s got listings on the pad
Of all the COs she wished he was
And she means everything to him
The salesman, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, in a bind
I wish that I could make him see
He’s just the vendor of the week
It’s Monday night, the release goes out
He’s a thousand miles away
It’s dressed to kill
And the logger’s on
He’s connected to the sound
And he’s got awards on the wall
From all the pubs he’s wooed before
But she knows all his favourite quotes
The salesman, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, in a bind
I wish that I could make him see
He’s just the vendor of the week
Yeah
The salesman, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, he’s too blind
He’s too blind, he’s too blind
The salesmen, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, in a bind
I wish that I could make him see
He’s just the vendor of the week
Yeah, he’s the vendor of the week
And she makes him weak
Sung to Flavour of the Week