Category Archives: humour

It’s Still All About the Pentiums, Baby!

It was exactly 3724 days ago today, or 10 years, 2 months, and 10 days ago today that Weird Al Yankovic proclaimed that It’s All About the Pentiums. I wonder if he knew that when he proclaimed:

 

My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks

But it was obsolete before I opened the box

You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week?

Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique

Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great

If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight

 

that the trend was only just starting and that ten (10) years later it would still be about the latest generation of the Intel Processor (the Core 2 Duo), that your database would still be a disaster, that windows would still take a “day-and-a-half” to boot up, or that, regrettably, supply chain managers would still be king of the spreadsheets?

I’m wondering because 3724 happens to be the RFC on The Rise of the Middle and the Future of End-to-End: Reflections on the Evolution of the Internet Architecture. The end-to-end principle just happens to be the core architectural guideline of the internet. Addressing concerns of openness, reliability, robustness, user choice, and ease of new service development, the end-to-end principle, which was originally a question of where not to put functions in a communication system to insure that applications could survive partial network failures, is still as relevant as it ever was. While not a standards proposal, like most RFCs, it put forward some good questions as to how the internet should evolve, questions which are becoming increasingly important with the rapid proliferation of the internet across a wide range of wired and wireless devices on which you will want to seamlessly access your supply chain applications.

Simply put, you’re going to want to be able to run your apps whether you’re working on your server, working on your desktop, working on your laptop, or working on your mobile, and you’re going to want to be able to do it using an open architecture built on open standards. This is because you don’t want to be spending thousands upon thousands of dollars for proprietary products that use proprietary APIs on each platform that do nothing more than convert your data from proprietary format A to proprietary format B so your mobile can talk to the server. You just don’t.

So remember, it’s all about the pentiums, baby.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

By now you all know that when I lose it, unlike most bloggers who go over the edge, I go over the hedge. The last couple of times I lost it, I brought you Hammy‘s Song (If I Was A ‘Coon) and (Dark) Verne‘s Song (Get Rid of that Squirrel). This, in turn, caused many of you to wonder about RJ’s song. Well, I won’t leave you hanging any longer. Here it is.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy (RJ’s Song)

Here’s a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note

Don’t worry, be happy

In every life we have some trouble

But when you worry you make it double

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy now

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Ain’t got no place to lay your head

Somebody came and took your bed

Don’t worry, be happy

The loan shark say your check is late

He may have to litigate

Don’t worry, be happy

Look at me, I am happy

Don’t worry, be happy

I give you my cell number

When you worry call me

I make you happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style

Ain’t got no gal to make you smile

But don’t worry, be happy

‘Cause when you worry

Your face will frown

And that will bring everybody down

So don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy now

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t do it

Be happy, put a small on your face

Don’t bring everybody down like this

Don’t worry, it will soon pass whatever it is

Don’t worry, be happy

Sung to Don’t Worry, Be Happy by

Bobby McFerrin

Get Rid of that Squirrel!

As I’ve said before,

most bloggers, when they lose it, go over the edge.

I, however, prefer to take a trip over the hedge.

And, sometimes, when I take that trip over the hedge, I notice that, deep down — deep deep down, Verne has a dark-side. And I imagine, after a day like Wednesday, this is what goes through his head as he crawls under his log at night.

Get Rid of that Squirrel (Dark Verne’s Song)

See that ‘coon, he looks so fine

But he’s got a squirrel friend, my oh my

Go Go Go

I’m gonna hit it in the head

I’m gonna knock it down

I’m gonna drag it by the fur all over town

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!

Its fur’s so brown and its tail’s so long

So I put my Mabelines’ record on

Kill Kill Kill!

I’m gonna drag its tail down to my log

I’m gonna use an axe like Madame Defarge

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!

Every time I see squirrel, it’s full of cheer

I’m gonna make its legs all wobbly

‘Cause I’m going to kick it in the rear

Then that squirrel will be history

So when we pass its tree on the way to food

I won’t have to deal with such a hoopy frood

Get rid of that squirrel

Get rid of that squirrel

See that ‘coon, he looks so fine

But he’s got a squirrel friend, my oh my

KILL KILL KILL!

I’m gonna hit it in the head

I’m gonna knock it down

I’m gonna drag it by the fur all over town

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!

Get rid of that squirrel …

Get rid of that squirrel …

Get rid of that squirrel!

This one is to the tune of

Get Rid of that Girl by The Donnas.

Duh! Supply Chain Headlines of the Week

Earlier this week I stumbled upon three headlines in particular that conveyed messages that were completely obvious to me and, hopefully, completely obvious to anyone in the supply management space. They were so obvious that the only way you wouldn’t already be aware of these no-brainers is if you didn’t have a brain! Since I literally found all three in a short time-span of about five minutes, I felt the need to share the cluster to find out if anyone else has had one of these anti-climactic realizations that sometimes the art of short headlines leaves much to be desired.

These are the headlines (which were attached to articles which were better than the headlines, by the way) that made me go Duh!

  • Bad Metrics Can Doom Your CRM Project (CIO)
    Bad Metrics can doom ANY project — sourcing, procurement, ERP — not just CRM!It does have a good point on how weekly indicators that sound meaningful usually aren’t — over measuring can be even worse than under-measuring.
  • Supply chain innovation is important (Purchasing)That’s why this blog is here!
    You have to get leaner and meaner and there are limits to how much you can reduce cost through negotiation, spend analysis and decision optimization if you can’t find fundamentally new ways to take cost out of the supply chain.
  • Investment in Procurement Technology Continues (SC Digest)
    Given that properly applied procurement technology always increases efficiency, decreases (transactional) cost, and makes it easier to stop maverick spending in it’s tracks (which can often eat up 30% of savings, as Bernard Gunther pointed out earlier this week in his post), investment in this technology is going to continue to increase until the market is saturated — especially now that there are a number of low-cost options on the market.

Anyone want to share their favourite Duh! headlines of the week? Maybe we can start our own weekly mini-FARK dedicated to sourcing and procurement! It might even coerce the satirical sourcerer out of his slumber! (It’s been a long time since our last weekly Supply Chain Humor post!)