Do you want to get analytics and AI right? Don’t hire a F6ckW@d from a Big X!

Now, I’m going to upset a lot of people with this, but I don’t care because the linked article below is literally the best article I ever read on why you should NOT hire F6ckW@ds from Bg X Consulting Firms who claim to be analytics and AI experts when they don’t actually know

  • the difference between a mathematical formula to calculate the center of gravity of a falling object and to calculate the median spend in a category
  • proper software architecture
  • proper compute resource allocation
  • your business
  • the difference between real ML technology, RPA and a few formulas, and the current Gen-“AI” where the “AI” stands for artificial idiocy

because

  • you’ll spend 3 years and millions of dollars to implement something that should take 3 to 6 months
  • you’ll spend hundreds of thousands on big vendor software licenses you don’t need
  • you’ll spend hundreds of thousands on compute power you don’t need

After all, these guys and gals get paid by the hour and the commission on the resell license is a percentage of the total price they sucker you into buying it for. So, the longer the project takes and the more licenses and compute power they sell …

Read the linked article. Twice. And then tape it up to your fridge. The situation described in the article is NOT the exception. As a former CTO and 25 year consultant/analyst, I know this is the norm!


I Accidentally Saved Half A Million Dollars
 

Now, if you’re wondering how to tell who is a F6ckW@d and who’s not when it comes to analytics and AI at the Big X? It’s easy. (If they are there for more than a year or two) THEY All ARE! The real talent in tech and analytics don’t stay long before they move on to specialist firms where they are listened to and allowed to do it right. Tech/Analytics people take pride in their work (and not their title), and you need to remember this. Good tech/analytics people don’t contradict managers because they want to be important, they contradict because they want the job done right, and the reality is that …

Some of this stuff is literally so complicated that you need degrees in mathematics and computer science and sometimes a decade of experience to get it right! (It took the doctor two advanced degrees and building advanced analytics and optimization systems for multiple leading companies in the 2000s.)

In other words, it’s okay if you don’t really get it as a manager. Just find those one or two people who do who you can trust, pay them well, and let them do what they need to make your department look good (be it hire internally, choose a consulting firm you never heard of, hire former colleagues on short-term contracts, etc.). They’ll get the job done right and be quite happy to let you take all the credit IF you give them regular raises and a bonus any time they do particularly well. Just put your ego aside and let the people who get it make the tech/analytics decisions, and everyone will win!