A recent rant on 1938 Media from Joseph Jaffe of Jaffe Juice does one of the best jobs I’ve ever seen on emphasizing the importance of good customer communication. Don’t brush it off as just an American Express Failure, because it could be yours!
Category Archives: humour
Vendor of the Week
He gives his pitch and he don’t know
She’s got another on the phone
He’ll don the suit
Her fleeting gaze … is all she gives to him
And she’s got listings on the pad
Of all the COs she wished he was
And she means everything to him
The salesman, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, in a bind
I wish that I could make him see
He’s just the vendor of the week
It’s Monday night, the release goes out
He’s a thousand miles away
It’s dressed to kill
And the logger’s on
He’s connected to the sound
And he’s got awards on the wall
From all the pubs he’s wooed before
But she knows all his favourite quotes
The salesman, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, in a bind
I wish that I could make him see
He’s just the vendor of the week
Yeah
The salesman, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, he’s too blind
He’s too blind, he’s too blind
The salesmen, he don’t know
Anything about her
He’s too blind, in a bind
I wish that I could make him see
He’s just the vendor of the week
Yeah, he’s the vendor of the week
And she makes him weak
Sung to Flavour of the Week
It’s Still All About the Pentiums, Baby!
It was exactly 3724 days ago today, or 10 years, 2 months, and 10 days ago today that Weird Al Yankovic proclaimed that It’s All About the Pentiums. I wonder if he knew that when he proclaimed:
My new computer’s got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you’ve had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it’s an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that’s great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
that the trend was only just starting and that ten (10) years later it would still be about the latest generation of the Intel Processor (the Core 2 Duo), that your database would still be a disaster, that windows would still take a “day-and-a-half” to boot up, or that, regrettably, supply chain managers would still be king of the spreadsheets?
I’m wondering because 3724 happens to be the RFC on The Rise of the Middle and the Future of End-to-End: Reflections on the Evolution of the Internet Architecture. The end-to-end principle just happens to be the core architectural guideline of the internet. Addressing concerns of openness, reliability, robustness, user choice, and ease of new service development, the end-to-end principle, which was originally a question of where not to put functions in a communication system to insure that applications could survive partial network failures, is still as relevant as it ever was. While not a standards proposal, like most RFCs, it put forward some good questions as to how the internet should evolve, questions which are becoming increasingly important with the rapid proliferation of the internet across a wide range of wired and wireless devices on which you will want to seamlessly access your supply chain applications.
Simply put, you’re going to want to be able to run your apps whether you’re working on your server, working on your desktop, working on your laptop, or working on your mobile, and you’re going to want to be able to do it using an open architecture built on open standards. This is because you don’t want to be spending thousands upon thousands of dollars for proprietary products that use proprietary APIs on each platform that do nothing more than convert your data from proprietary format A to proprietary format B so your mobile can talk to the server. You just don’t.
So remember, it’s all about the pentiums, baby.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
By now you all know that when I lose it, unlike most bloggers who go over the edge, I go over the hedge. The last couple of times I lost it, I brought you Hammy‘s Song (If I Was A ‘Coon) and (Dark) Verne‘s Song (Get Rid of that Squirrel). This, in turn, caused many of you to wonder about RJ’s song. Well, I won’t leave you hanging any longer. Here it is.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy (RJ’s Song)
Here’s a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy now
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Ain’t got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don’t worry, be happy
The loan shark say your check is late
He may have to litigate
Don’t worry, be happy
Look at me, I am happy
Don’t worry, be happy
I give you my cell number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Ain’t got no cash, ain’t got no style
Ain’t got no gal to make you smile
But don’t worry, be happy
‘Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy now
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t do it
Be happy, put a small on your face
Don’t bring everybody down like this
Don’t worry, it will soon pass whatever it is
Don’t worry, be happy
Sung to Don’t Worry, Be Happy by
Get Rid of that Squirrel!
As I’ve said before,
most bloggers, when they lose it, go over the edge.
I, however, prefer to take a trip over the hedge.
And, sometimes, when I take that trip over the hedge, I notice that, deep down — deep deep down, Verne has a dark-side. And I imagine, after a day like Wednesday, this is what goes through his head as he crawls under his log at night.
Get Rid of that Squirrel (Dark Verne’s Song)
See that ‘coon, he looks so fine
But he’s got a squirrel friend, my oh my
Go Go Go
I’m gonna hit it in the head
I’m gonna knock it down
I’m gonna drag it by the fur all over town
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!
Its fur’s so brown and its tail’s so long
So I put my Mabelines’ record on
Kill Kill Kill!
I’m gonna drag its tail down to my log
I’m gonna use an axe like Madame Defarge
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!
Every time I see squirrel, it’s full of cheer
I’m gonna make its legs all wobbly
‘Cause I’m going to kick it in the rear
Then that squirrel will be history
So when we pass its tree on the way to food
I won’t have to deal with such a hoopy frood
Get rid of that squirrel
Get rid of that squirrel
See that ‘coon, he looks so fine
But he’s got a squirrel friend, my oh my
KILL KILL KILL!
I’m gonna hit it in the head
I’m gonna knock it down
I’m gonna drag it by the fur all over town
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel
I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!
Get rid of that squirrel …
Get rid of that squirrel …
Get rid of that squirrel!
This one is to the tune of
Get Rid of that Girl by The Donnas.