Category Archives: Squirrels

RFP Everything? Are You Mad? Even The Squirrels Will Think You’re Nuts!

A recent post on LinkedIn that proclaimed Exciting News! (and which should have exclaimed Good News Everyone*) worries the doctor greatly because a remarkable example of AI was

autonomous tail spend RFP’s, generating over 15,000 RFPS annually through a programmed bot!
 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

15,000 more RFPs for inconsequential tail spend might sound exciting to buyers, but it’s terrifying to sales professionals who are already over-inundated with ever more demanding RFPs where they know, statistically, they will only get 20% to 33% of the business if they are on par with their peers, and the odds will be worse if they are not.

More RFPs, or even just quick-quote RFQs, is NOT the answer to good tail spend management! If you try it, you’re just going to end up:

  1. losing potential suppliers who just drop you because you can’t keep up with the volume or
  2. getting auto-generated responses from suppliers who “wise up” and counter idiotic tech with idiotic tech — and these may be good, or may be pointless …

You need to use tech to find the best deals on tail spend WITHOUT overburdening the supply base. This means, at a minimum, you need tech that:

  • allows you to find potential products/services in your catalogs / covered under your agreements
  • find potential products/services from your GPOs
  • find potential products/services from preferred suppliers
  • … and identify the lowest cost items from the groups above
  • identify potential products on the open market
  • … and identify the expected lowest cost as a baseline
  • identify past events, possibly in an anonymized community intelligence database,
  • … and how much the price was reduced against catalog/market price
  • and then let you know whether or not an RFQ will likely result in a significant savings (not just 1% or 2%, it’s tail spend, after all), and, if not, present the best option that will NOT over-inundate, and deprive you of, good suppliers in your supply base

Just like AI in marketing, too many RFPs is just adding to the noise, and no one wins when neither side can hear what needs to be heard!

* It was NEVER Good News!

Pop Goes The Squirrel!

Hammy has been driving Verne crazy again over the hedge. Dark Verne is creeping back to the surface. And I bet this is what’s playing in his head right now …

RJ played guitar, Hammy played bass.
Name of the band is Over the Hedge.
Everybody tell me have you heard?
Pop goes the squirrel.

RJ played keyboard, Hammy played drums.
It drives Verne crazy and when the time comes.
Everybody tell me have you heard?
Pop Goes The squirrel.

It goes something like this: (p p p pop)

RJ and Hammy had a crazy dream.
See their pictures in a magazine.
Every wild critter needs a twirl.
Pop goes the squirrel.

RJ and Hammy getting smart (it seems).
Made more money on a movie screen.
Every little nest needs a bird.
Pop goes the squirrel.

One two three and four is five.
Dark Verne is plotting poor Hammy’s demise.
Mentos and coke and Microwave on high.
Pop goes the squirrel.

Six seven eight and nine is ten.
Make sure it works with nitroglycerin.
Say what planet are we on? The third!
Pop Goes The squirrel.

And Every time Verne wonders where the world went wrong,
Ends up lying on his face going ringy dingy ding dong.

And every time Verne wonders if the world is right,
Ends up across the cosmos in black arachnid’s night.

RJ played guitar, Hammy played bass.
Name of the band is Over the Hedge.
Everybody tell me have you heard?
Pop goes the squirrel.

RJ played keyboard, Hammy played drums.
At least until Verne with dynamite comes.
Everybody tell me have you heard?
Pop Goes The squirrel.

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels

In honour of the Occupy Suburbia movement, I give you, to the tune of Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue:

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels

Friday night and I need to eat
Some vegetables and a slice of meat
A slice of bread and a side of slaw
Would go quite well inside my gaping maw

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Short legs and feathery tails
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Running wild through the hay bales
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Flat ears, Racoon trails

It’s too late, they’re in charge
From suburb’s edge to your backyard
Red Tail squirrels and they can’t be beat
Drive you out of your home and into the street

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
In your pool house and at the pool side
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Taking over your dwelling, it’s a red tide
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Raising Hell in your kitchen with pride

Have you read the news
In the Soho Tribune
Ya know they marched in
and then they demanded pie

We thought we were neighbours
On two sides of the door
I tell ya what, man
They moved in, the occupation began
I don’t know the story
Or if they’ve got a plan

Suburbia, Your Town, Now
They’ll get inside, I don’t know how
Looking for pie, goodies, and treats
Cream filled twinkies and other good eats

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
Lead the charge, for pie they’ll trot
Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels
They want Crisco in every crockpot!

Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels

California Squirrels

Hammy falls asleep while watching MTV …

To the tune of California Gurls*1 by Katy Perry and featuring Snoop Dogg.

Greetings loved ones
Let’s take a journey

I know a place
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild
There must be something in the water

Sippin’ berry juice
Laying underneath the palm trees (chillin’)
The coons
On the move
Trying to surf the mighty waves (all day)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
to the golden coast
Once you party with us
You’ll be falling in love
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California squirrels
We’re unforgettable
Shirley Temples
Umbrellas on top
Sun-kissed fur
So hot
We’ll melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California squirrels
We’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, furry
We got it on lock
West coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Fun on the beach
We got sand in our palmettos
We freak
In my jeep
Snoop Coony Coon on the stereo (oh oh)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
to the golden coast
Once you party with us
You’ll be falling in love
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California squirrels
We’re unforgettable
Shirley Temples
Umbrellas on top
Sun-kissed fur
So hot
We’ll melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California squirrels
We’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, furry
We got it on lock
West coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Toned, Tanned
Fit and ready
Turn it up cause its gettin’ heavy
Wild, wild west coast
These are the squirrels I love the most

I mean the ones
I mean like they’re the ones
Don’t diss ’em
Or parti pris ’em
They’re lots of fun

The squirrels are freaks
They form their own cliques
The coons on the beach
They’re okay
They won’t play
They love the Bay
Just like they love LA
Venice beach
and Palm Springs
Summer time is everything

Homeboys
Hangin’ out
All that fur
Hanging out
Zucchinis, tankinis, martinis
No weenies
Just a king
and a queen-ie

Hammy, gone glam-ie
(yeah)
now look at ’em, Vern-ie
(uh huh)
We’re all up on ’em
Cause they representin’ California too
(ohhh yeah)

California squirrels
We’re unforgettable
Shirley Temples
Umbrellas on top
Sun-kissed fur
So hot
We’ll melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California squirrels
We’re undeniable
Fine, fresh, furry
We got it on lock
West coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh Oh Oooooh
(California, California)

California squirrels
I wish they all could be
California squirrels
(California)
I really wish
You all could be
California squirrels
(California, squirrels*2)

*1 Sourcing Innovation is not responsible for any effects, adverse or otherwise, that result from watching the video.

*2 the doctor is not sure what’s worse, California Squirrels or Terror Squirrels!