Category Archives: humour

If Social Networking Sites Were College Students

Check out this great post over on Aaron Hoos blog on “if social networking sites were college students”. In a word, it’s awesome.

  • Classmates.com: the self-absorbed senior who’s been attending college for 8 years to get a 4 year degree
  • MySpace: once the most popular student in school … put on some weight and sold out to “the man”
  • Facebook: the great looking guy that has it all … his popularity on the rise … but in ten years … he’ll feel empty inside
  • Orkut: doesn’t speak English … and he’s not good enough to play the exotic angle to get dates
  • Bebo: the off-campus student no one has heard of
  • LinkedIn: he’s mostly talk and optimistic dreams but he has to work twice as hard to get the same marks as everyone else
  • Xing: he’s a little awkward around the girls and he sometimes forgets to wear matching socks
  • Plaxo: he talks a big, big game but he didn’t make the football team and he’s not on the dean’s list

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Does That Report Deserve To Be Stuck Where the Sun Don’t Shine?

Then Oriental Co has the perfect solution for you! Appropriately named White Goat, this new office device can take regular letter-sized paper or shreds, including the last strategic plan from your boss that you cursed until you were blue in the face, and transform it into nearly pristine rolls of white toilet paper.

As seen in the video below, it’s quite simple to use. Plug it in, add paper and water, and about 30 minus later, remove the roll of toilet paper. While the hefty price tag of about 100K means it would take years to recoup the cost, as this CNet Review points out, what price is too high for the pleasure of wiping your butt with your boss’ memos?

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Every blogger needs a cat!

They make great editors!

Every Blogger Needs to Have a Cat

To the tune of Everybody Wants to be a Cat from Disney’s The Aristocats.

Every blogger needs to have a cat,
because a cat’s the only cat
who knows where it’s at!

Everybody’s pickin’ up on that feline beat,
’cause everything else is obsolete.

Now a square on the keys,
can make your eyelids squeeze,
ever’time he writes;
and with a square in the act,
he can set writing back
to the caveman days.

I’ve heard some corny birds who tried to write,
but a cat’s the only cat
who can get it right.
Who wants to be fleeced
by a long-winded piece
or stuff like that?
When Every blogger needs to have a cat.

Now a square on the keys,
can make your eyelids squeeze,
ever’time he writes;
and with a square in the act,
he can set writing back
to the caveman days.

Every blogger needs to have a cat,
because a cat’s the only cat
who knows where it’s at.

While writin’ jazz you always has a Welcome mat,
’cause everybody digs editor cat.
Everybody digs editor cat.

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When a Twit Speaks in the Twittersphere … Does Anyone Hear?

Check out this great experiment chronicled on Boris Dinkevich’s blog on technology and what’s wrong with it. According to Boris,

  1. A friend used the Twitter APIs to create an account that automatically scanned twitter users and find users who were “most likely” to read his twits.
  2. The first pass returned a:
    • 50+ Twit Count (user active)
    • 100 Following Count (might read twits)
    • 50 Follower Count (typical statistic for real users)
  3. Everyday it would delete accounts added the previous day that didn’t re-follow and then run the algorithm again to add more users. In a few days, the account (which had not even twitted) had about 300 followers.
  4. Then, the friend published a post with a bit.ly link on the newly created account, and his own account which had about 30 followers.

The results? ZERO people from the newly created account clicked the link. In contrast, 13 people of the 30, who were likely his friends and colleagues, clicked the link.

In other words, a large Twitter base means nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Just that there are a bunch of twits out there who want to feel self-important by collecting followers and following people they think are more self-important than they are. And in the long run, the majority of them will abandon the platform as they figure out just how little usefulness it really has. (It’s a fun toy. That’s it. Nothing more). In fact, over 60% of Twitter users will abandon the platform within a month (Nielson.com blog). That’s why I’m Twitter Free. I’d rather spend my time writing real content you might actually want to read instead of writing down every half-formed thought that rambles through my head in 160 characters or less.

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The Netherlands … That’s In Tennessee, Right?

Check out this Shipment Travel History from FedEx (posted by an anonymous shipper). Apparently, to get a package from Ontario, Canada to Antilles, Netherlands you ship it to Indianapolis, Indiana, USA then to Paris, France, then to Memphis, Tennessee, USA then back to Paris, France, then to Newark, New Jersey, USA, then back to Memphis, Tennessee, USA …

It looks FedEx needs a new routing algorithm. I’d certainly be happy to help …