As I’ve said before,

most bloggers, when they lose it, go over the edge.

I, however, prefer to take a trip over the hedge.

And, sometimes, when I take that trip over the hedge, I notice that, deep down — deep deep down, Verne has a dark-side. And I imagine, after a day like Wednesday, this is what goes through his head as he crawls under his log at night.

Get Rid of that Squirrel (Dark Verne’s Song)

See that ‘coon, he looks so fine

But he’s got a squirrel friend, my oh my

Go Go Go

I’m gonna hit it in the head

I’m gonna knock it down

I’m gonna drag it by the fur all over town

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!

Its fur’s so brown and its tail’s so long

So I put my Mabelines’ record on

Kill Kill Kill!

I’m gonna drag its tail down to my log

I’m gonna use an axe like Madame Defarge

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!

Every time I see squirrel, it’s full of cheer

I’m gonna make its legs all wobbly

‘Cause I’m going to kick it in the rear

Then that squirrel will be history

So when we pass its tree on the way to food

I won’t have to deal with such a hoopy frood

Get rid of that squirrel

Get rid of that squirrel

See that ‘coon, he looks so fine

But he’s got a squirrel friend, my oh my

KILL KILL KILL!

I’m gonna hit it in the head

I’m gonna knock it down

I’m gonna drag it by the fur all over town

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel

I’m gonna get get get get rid of that squirrel tonight!

Get rid of that squirrel …

Get rid of that squirrel …

Get rid of that squirrel!

This one is to the tune of

Get Rid of that Girl by The Donnas.