If the economy doesn’t get better soon, this may just be the doctor‘s next job 
. After all, we already have pirates on Lake Erie.
The Last Nova Scotian Pirate
I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the county line
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
And the bankers came and took my land and told me “fair is fair”
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “we just let twenty go!”
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought, who gives a damn if no job awaits?
I’m gonna be a PIRATE on the Northumberland Strait!
And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia‘s mighty shores
Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge inside of Canso spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a’quiver
Cause they know that Captain Doctor‘s hidin’ in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!
And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline cause he didn’t own a boat
But cutbacks were a’comin’ and the Mountie lost his job
So now he’s sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin’ sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the HST (SCREW IT!!)
Sailin down to Pictou, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Well, Pirate life’s appealing but you just don’t find it here,
I hear in North Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort McKay
And you’re gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way!
Well, winter is a’comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the strait begins to freeze
I’ll be back in springtime, but now I have to go
I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico!
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Old Stan Rogers
on Nova Scotia’s mighty shores
Sung to The Last Saskatchewan Pirate
(and I strongly recommend you give The Last Saskatchewan Pirate a listen)
(Yes, the doctor is Proud to be Canadian.)