Most bloggers, when they lose it, go over the edge.

I, however, prefer to take a trip over the hedge.

So, without further adieu, I give you …

If I Was a ‘Coon (Hammy’s Song)

If I was a ‘coon I’d live over the ridge
and get fat eating stolen snacks from the fridge.

If I was a ‘coon I’d pay a whole lotta green
to watch a cooking program on a wide plasma screen.

If I was a ‘coon I’d send all the squirrels for food
to pilfer somebody’s pantry for vegetable stew.

If I was a ‘coon I’d disguise you like a pet
and make you swallow your pride until you fetched a tea set.

A squirrel can dream,
if only that could be me.

‘coons have all the fun.
‘coons think they’re number 1.
‘coons they rule the world,
but we all know it’s all about the squirrels, squirrels.

If I was a ‘coon I’d have to free all the pets
then get hauled off to jail in the dog catcher’s nets.

If I was a ‘coon, in the midst of hunger throes,
I’d be at the mercy of my sensitive nose.

Oh yeah!

‘coons have all the fun.
‘coons think they’re number 1.
‘coons they rule the world,
but we all know it’s all about the squirrels, squirrels.

Ahh, ahh.
Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey, hey hey.

If I was a ‘coon I’d be lazing around
coz it’s just too much work to do something profound
If I was a ‘coon I’d love Verne for his brains
but then when he used them I’d say he’s going insane.

A squirrel can dream,
if only that could be me.

‘coons have all the fun.
‘coons think they’re number 1.
‘coons they call the tune
to get the squirrels to wanna fetch their food.

‘coons have all the fun.
‘coons think they’re number 1.
‘coons they rule the world,
but we all know it’s all about the squirrels, squirrels.

‘coons have all the fun.
‘coons think they’re number 1.
‘coons they rule the world,
but we all know it’s all about the
squirrels, squirrels, squirrels, squirrels!

And, if you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s to the tune of
If I Was a Boy by Natascha Sohl.

I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the tools of sourcing, and I quote the facts logistical
From New Orleans to Shanghai, in order categorical

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About optimization, I’m teeming with a lot o’ news
With many cheerful facts about the cost of the blue ocean routes

With many cheerful facts about the cost of the blue ocean routes
With many cheerful facts about the cost of the blue ocean routes
With many cheerful facts about the cost of the blue ocean routes

I’m very good at direct and indirect spend anlaysis
I know the HTS codes of products electronicalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and minderal
I am the very model of a modern global sourceror

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern global sourceror

I know our mythic history, Free Markets and Markets B2E
I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for oddities
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of the major analysts
In auctions I can floor peculiarities ridiculous

I can tell undoubted RFPs from RFQs from RFIs
I know the croaking chorus from the mouths of the vendor sales guys
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the vendor’s pitch before
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense we abhor

Then I can write a shipping bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev’ry detail of Custom’s CBP import form
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and minderal
I am the very model of a modern global sourceror

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and minderal
He is the very model of a modern global sourceror

In fact, when I know what is meant by “Dutch Auction” and “Japanese“
When I can tell at sight a credit letter from a guarantee
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”

When I have learnt what process has been made in modern procurement
When I know more of tactics than a novice in an internment
In short, when I’ve a smattering of arbitration strategy
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee

You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee
You’ll say a better Global Sourcerer had never sat a gee

For my global sourcing knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Global Sourceror

To the tune of “I Want It All” by Queen.

A knowledge seeker, on an empty page
Just a website creeper, (in the) internet age
A sharp buyer searching, with no time for buzz
With the sprawling hogwash, can’t see past the fuzz
“It ain’t much I’m asking“, I hear you say
“Gotta find me an answer, and be on my way”

You want it all, you want it all, you want it all, and you want it now!
You want it all, you want it all, you want it all, and you want it now!

Listen all you readers, come gather round
I’m gonna give you a game plan, gonna shake you to the ground
Just give you, what you came to find
Readers do you hear me, no need for a sign
Just read what I’m writing, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future of the sourcing sleuth!

You want it all, you want it all, you want it all, and you want it now!
You want it all, you want it all, you want it all, and you want it now!

the doctor has a one track mind
To share it all in one lifetime
Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies
So he’s living it all (yes he’s living it all)
And he’s giving it all (yes he’s giving it all)

So read what we’re writing, if you’re tired of fog
‘Cause we’ve got it all, on the SI blog!

We got it all, we got it all, we got it all, on the SI blog!
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all, on Your SI blog.

You can drive this
You can drive this
You can drive this
You can drive this
You can drive this

My, my, my Nano hits me so hard
Makes me say “Oh, My Lord”
Thank you for blessing me
With a car to drive and two left feet

It feels good, when you know you’re down
A super dope homeboy from Mysuru town
And I’m known as such
And this is a car, uh, you can’t touch

I told you, homeboy
(You can drive this)
Yeah, that’s how we cruising and you know
(You can drive this)

Look at my wheels, jazzy
(You can drive this)
Yo, let me bust the funky hub-caps
(You can drive this)

Fresh new wheels, high five
You gotta like that, now, you know you wanna drive
So move, into your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat

While it’s rollin’, hold on
Pump a little gas and let ’em know it’s goin’ on
Like that, like that

Dude on a mission so fall them back
Let ’em know, that you can jive
And this is a car, uh, you can drive

Yo, I told you
(You can drive this)
Why you standin’ there, man?
(You can drive this)
Yo, sound the horn, wheels are in, sucka
(You can drive this)

Give me a song or rhythm
Makin’ em awe, that’s what I’m givin’ ’em
Realize
You talkin’ about Nano, you talkin’ about a drive

It’s hype and tight
Driver’s are chillin’, so give them a light
Or a disc, to learn
What’s it gonna take in the new year to burn

Pink slip? Legit
Either drive hard or you might as well quit
That’s word because you know
You can drive this, you can drive this

Break it down
Stop, Nano time

Go with the funk, it is said
If you can’t roll with this
Then you probably are dead

So pimp your ride on the side
Bust a few moves
And take it for a low ride

This is it, for a winner
Ride in this and you’re gonna look thinner
Drive, park your rump
Just for a minute and let’s all do the bump, bump, bump

Yeah
(You can drive this)
Look, man
(You can drive this)

You better get hype, boy
Because you know you can
(You can drive this)
Honk the horn, your ride’s here

Break it down
Stop, Nano time

Every time they see you
They’ll know you’re so hype
You’re dope on the road and you’re magic with the wheel

Now why would you ever stop driving it?
While other’s making guzzlers that just don’t fit
You can tour around the world, from London to the Bay
It’s “Nano, go Nano, Tata Nano, yo Nano”
And the rest can fade away

You can drive this
You can drive this
You can drive this

Yeah, you can drive this
I told you, you can drive this
Too hype, let’s drive this
It’s way outta here, you can drive this

The Nano Rolls Out on March 23, 2009. (Economic Times)