Category Archives: Miscellaneous

What’s Worse Than a Walmart Consultant? A Sleazy Consultant!

After my recent post on how Walmart Changed the World … But Not Necessarily for the Better, I reminded my Twitterers* about what happens when you use Walmart Consultants. In a nutshell, when you pay a cut rate, you get a cut job … and the pleasure of the consultant blaming you for his or her incompetence.

However, this is still better than what you get when you use a sleazy consultant (who, in another life, was probably a lemon, err, used car salesperson). As per this great post over on the Enterprise Irregulars on “Screwing the Customer” (Tales from the Crazy Consultant File), we can still be surprised by the antics of some consultants. The post chronicled two stories.

In the first story, a small, profitable business that was a multi-million dollar money machine, bought on-premise ERP software from a reseller that poorly fit their needs. Since the reseller did not specialize in implementation, the firm wanted the vendor to find them another implementation services company. But since the vendor had no relationship with the buyer, the buyer was dependent on the reseller to find, and manage, the implementation of software that poorly fit their needs. The buyer has outsourced control, leverage, and judgment to an unworthy consulting firm. Translation — the customer is screwed.

In the second story, a small consulting organization has a multi-million dollar change management contract with a large state agency. Part-way through the project, the consulting company unilaterally shifted its focus to advising on tools and methodologies. The state agency threatened termination, and the consultancy responded with a large invoice and threats of legal action. Meanwhile, the agency hiring manager has limited options since any change would involve delays and additional expense. Translation — this customer is also screwed.

Unfortunately, the sleaze is not limited to these two examples. The Supply Management space also has its share of sleazy consultants, which are our equivalent of the the used car (lemon) salespersons, and many of them fall into the following two categories:

Slippery Spend Analyst

Yes, it’s true, that the doctor promotes a good spend analysis almost as often as he promotes a good optimization-based sourcing project, but there are two types of spend analysts in the world. Those that educate you, and those that just tell you where your spend is too high and offer to negotiate it down for you. In the short term, this works great — the consultant identifies a category, like telecom, where you are 15% over market average and the consultant negotiates your rates down to 5% below market average and you save 20%. But in the long term, as users are added to and removed from the plans, and usage changes, rates creep back up and in three years your organization is again paying 15%-plus over market average. And, again, you have to pay the consultancy to do the spend analysis to reduce your rates. Now, if they had trained you on their process and one or more tools, you’d have the option to do it yourself, or to just use them for the negotiation. But since they didn’t, you’re left in the dark.

Recovery Specialist

This is a wonderful racket. Almost every big organization overpays its suppliers due to duplicate payments on the same invoice (by accident, when it is resubmitted due to a late payment), duplicate payments against the same products (as the organization will resend the invoice with each shipment corresponding to the same PO), overpayments (because negotiated payments were misapplied), and failed deductions (because parts were bad and payment was not refunded). But not every organization catches all of these overpayments, which can add up to Millions for Global 3000s. There are consultancies out there that specialize in this recovery, and this is a good thing as long as they don’t take advantage of you.

The problem is that most of the consultancies that specialize in recovery use “black-box” methods to identify these overpayments, which are guarded more securely than Fort Knox. So even though they might find an organization a Million in savings, and take Two Hundred Thousand as a Fee, the organization isn’t that much better off than if it hadn’t hired the consultancy because. In as little as eighteen months, there will be another Million in overpayments hidden in the books because the consultancy didn’t tell the organization how the majority of overpayments originated or what best practices the organization could adopt to minimize the amount of overpayments it made. This could allow the organization to go longer between significant recovery audits, and the organization would likely pay less, and lose less, over time. A good recovery firm will do this, and a really good recovery firm will even advise you on the software options that exist to plug some of the holes in your payment processes and/or tolls that will automate part of the recovery process.

* Yes, the doctor is on Twitter, riding the Fail Whale as he chases the Twitter Bird (because the doctor wants his marbles back)!

The (Board) Gamer’s Guide to Supply Management Part III: Munchkin

I’m ecstatic to continue this one-of-a-kind summer series that will help you whether you are just interested in finding out about this new and exciting career opportunity, or ready to take your Supply Management career to the next level. As I said in my last post, learning Supply Management can be infinitely more fun than watching paint dry. And when you can grasp a lot of the basic concepts by playing the right mix of strategic (and sometimes tactical) board games with your friends, it’s a blast and a half!

While this might be a good time to move on to a game like Puerto Rico, an economic city building game where you select a trade (such as captain, mayor, trader, settler, craftsman, or builder) in an effort to achieve the greatest prosperity (and highest respect) by shipping goods, building impressive cities, and managing their colonists and plantations, it’s still a little advanced for our budding gamers, so we are going to select a different game for our third post. Plus, while Ticket to Ride (Part I) helped us understand the capacity limitations of the shipping industry and The Settlers of Catan (Part II) helped us to understand the balance between supply and demand in limited commodities, they both limited our view to a competitive market where each player was acting independently at all times. (And while trading is a big part of Catan, your opponent only traded when it was in his interest to do so, and partnerships were never formed.)

In Steve Jackson’s Munchkin, we still have the situation where every player is out for herself, but where players will often unite for brief periods of time to accomplish a goal where there are mutual rewards (or bribes) to be made. Plus, as we will quickly discover, Munchkin brings a reality to gaming that neither Ticket to Ride nor Catan bring to the table. And most importantly, we have another fantastic TableTop episode where Wil Wheaton (who still claims to be In Exile) introduces the game with the help of the game’s creator, Steve Jackson (and Felicia Day and Sandeep Parikh). As long as he keeps churning them out, we are going to take advantage of the priceless gifts that Mr. Wheaton has granted us.

When it comes to Munchkin, as Wil Wheaton says,

The goal is very simple. Get from level one all the way up to level ten. To do that we’re going to kick in doors. Bam! And fight the monsters that we find behind them. Now, if a monster is too tough for us, we can ask our friends for help. Maybe they’ll make it less scary. . . . Of course if a monster looks like it’s getting to be too easy for us to defeat, those same ‘friends” will turn around and make that monster harder for us to defeat. . . . If we are able to defeat the monster and don’t have to run away, we’re going to go up a level and we get to take one of its treasures, always something that helps us. . . . Munchkin is a game where you really find out who your friends are. Generally, not the people sitting around the table with you.

In addition, Munchkin is a turn-based game where, at the start of your turn, you may play as many cards from your hand as you’d like, trade items in play with other players, or sell items for levels. Then you have to kick in the door, where you will generally find a monster (which must be fought immediately), a curse (which applies to you immediately), or another card that may be put in your hand and saved for later or played immediately. Other cards are generally monster modifiers (that make them weaker or stronger), a race (such as dwarf, elf, orc, etc. that gives you a special ability), a class (such as warrior, wizard, bard, etc. that gives you a special skill), or another special card that can be played at a later time. If you fight a monster, you either beat it (with help), or you try to run away. If you beat it, you get its treasurer. If you don’t, you suffer bad stuff, such as losing a level, losing an item, or, in some cases, you die. If it’s not a monster, you get to look for trouble (and play a monster from your hand to fight, if you have one), or loot the room (where you take a second door card and put it in your hand).

It’s representative of our job many days because we never know what interruption (probably caused by a gremlin) we are going to have to deal with, and we never know if we’re going to be able to conquer it without help. Sometimes we can solve the problem with help from within our organization, but sometimes we will need help from our competition. And this is where Munchkin gets interesting when compared to Ticket to Ride or The Settlers of Catan. Maybe when our primary distributor ‘loses’ the shipment of tantalum we need to keep our mobile phone capacitor production line operational, we can call up our competitor a few miles away and find out that they will sell us some of their excess inventory (at a mark-up) that will keep our production line going until we can get a replacement shipment. But maybe they will instead take advantage of this moment of weakness to lock up even more supply from their distributor, in the hopes that our production line will stay down for weeks and give them a chance to leapfrog us on New Product Introduction into the rapidly evolving mobile market place. We don’t know. Munchkin is one of the few games that will help us understand the intricacies of a co-opetitive market (which may not be a good thing for your supply chain, as per this post).

The trading aspect introduces us to the ways that we can barter inventory when cash is at a premium, the selling aspect (treasure for levels) introduces us to the ways we can profit off of excess inventory if we are smart about it, and the cursing aspect introduces us to the dirty tricks we might have to deal with from shady suppliers. Plus, classes demonstrate how skills acquired through education can improve your capabilities and races demonstrate how specializations in certain functions, processes, or technologies can take you up the Procurement ladder. And, just like in real life, if you don’t have enough excitement in your job, you can always look for trouble and hedge your bets (by buying on the spot market or, even worse, hedging) or, if you see a supplier or competitor in trouble, you can, in effect, loot the room.

It’s a great game. And since, as Wil says,

Sometimes you don’t care about someone’s rich personal backstory. You don’t care about a character’s precious little hopes and dreams. Sometimes you just want to kick in the door, kill the monster, and take it’s treasure without any of that pesky role playing.

So, without further ado, it’s time to kick in the door, mutilate the bodies, and backstab each other as we fight to see which one of us in the biggest munchkin.

The Supply Chain Paradox

The best supply chain is invisible, but an invisible supply chain gets no recognition in your average company.

This is the one lesson they don’t teach you in Supply Chain 101, probably because they don’t want to discourage you given the upward battle we still face in our chosen discipline of Supply Management.

The sad reality is that, outside of Disney, as expertly explained in this recent post by Christopher Sciacca over on Supply Chains Rock, your average company, or at least your average employee in your average company, has no knowledge of this paradox. Just like your average person is unaware of Bernoulli’s Paradox or even the Birthday Paradox.

At a Disney theme park, the supply chain function is invisible from visitors, who never see a delivery truck or van on the premises, or shelves being restocked by employees. Visitors get the feeling that all of the food and merchandise somehow magically shows up exactly when it’s needed. Disney accomplished this by building a one-square-mile-wide labyrinth below the park’s main streets, called the “Utilidor” that feeds goods to the park attractions surreptitiously and that is stocked with a three day supply of inventory at all times to ensure merchandise is there when needed.

In a smoothly flowing supply chain, raw materials and components show up almost just-in-time (JIT) at the plant that is producing your goods. Then the boxes are waiting at the other end to package them, and as soon as the boxes are filled, the palletizer is there to pallet them. As soon as the pallets are full, the pallet jacks are waiting to load them unto the truck that just pulled up to take them to your distribution centers. Etc. Etc. Engineers don’t have to worry about raw materials or components being late or in insufficient supply. Loading dock personnel don’t have to worry about needing extra temporary storage as the trucks are there when the order is complete. Etc. Etc. Not only do they not have to worry about supply chain functions beyond their jobs, but your job looks like it’s the easiest job in the world because, like magic, everything (and everyone) is there when they need it. As a result, the better your supply chain runs, the less respect you get in an average company for doing a “hard” job because you make it look so easy.

That’s the supply chain paradox, and one of the reasons we still don’t get No Respect.

I am the Twitter!

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like fish from a whale, see the bird fly.
I’m crying.

Sitting on a hashtag, waiting for the tweet to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your tweet grow long.
I am the poster, they are the posters.
I am the twitter, goo goo g’joob.

Mister celebrity ranting,
Pretty little celebrities in a row.
See the tweets fly like texts from a teen, see how they stream.
I’m crying, I’m crying.
I’m crying, I’m crying.

Random insane drivel, dripping from a newbie’s feed.
A desperate housewife, pornographic priestess,
Now you been a naughty girl you let your secrets out.
I am the poster, they are the posters.
I am the twitter, goo goo g’joob.

Standing in an airport Starbucks … waiting for the brew.
If the brew runs out, you get your fix
From candybars at the news stand.
I am the poster, they are the posters.
I am the twitter, goo goo g’joob.

Expert textpert channel blasters,
Don’t you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like whales in the sky,
See how they snied.
I’m crying.

Internet Spinal Tap, cranking up the dial to eleven.
Gary William Brolsma syncing Numa Numa.
Man, you have to see them kicking that Mark Zuckerberg.
I am the poster, they are the posters.
I am the twitter, goo goo g’joob.
goo goo g’joob goo goo g’joob.
Goo goo g’joob goo

If you’re not following the doctor on Twitter, what aren’t you missing?

This is What Tar and Feathering is For

I get disgusted when I see articles like this recent article in The Economist on how Bogus degrees from non-existent colleges cause headaches for employers.

It’s bad enough when a job candidate, who is actually a con-person, lies about a degree — either by leaving off the field or specialization of the degree in the hopes that you’ll believe an accounting degree was actually a computer science degree (as a certain high-tech CEO did) or by claiming to have a degree from a college / private institution that is no longer in business or, better yet, just had a fire and lost all the records.

But when someone sells a fake degree from a fake institution, as the nine people who stood trial in China in April did, that calls for a public tar and feathering. It’s disgusting. A degree is not only something that should be earned (which is why I also get upset when a celebrity who went to a certain institution gets a degree in something they don’t really know anything about, or the catch all Doctor of Letters degree, just because they are famous*), but something that should be certified as granting the holder a certain degree of knowledge and capability. You should be able to go to a registered, and reasonably respected, body and ascertain that the institution or individual in question had the authority to grant the degree, which conveys that whomever awarded the degree had a reasonable understanding of the knowledge required to verify that the recipient met the minimum requirements for the degree and was worthy.

And if I wasn’t livid enough after reading this point, you can bet I was ranting like a madman after reading that, in China, the really shrewd conmen have gone beyond simply selling fake degrees from fake universities, to pretending to offer real degrees from real, accredited, institutions. In one situation, a group of 68 students had been paying to attend class at what they thought was a programme affiliated with the Shangdong Institute of Light Industry (SILI). After four years they found out that everything about the programme had been a scam, and that the man behind the scheme had vanished. If you buy a degree, and get ripped off, that’s your problem. But in this case, a very enterprising conman leased a building, found some equipment, hired an instructor (who was probably qualified enough to teach the classes), and, as far as I can tell, literally offered the SILI degree program. Yes, the fake institute was not affiliated with SILI, but if the students came out of the four-year fake program with the same skills and knowledge as the students who went through the real-program, they have earned the degree as much as their peers — but because they didn’t get accepted into, and pay, the real institute, they’re screwed. In this situation, they should be allowed equivalency examinations, and get the degree if they pass, but you know this is not going to happen unless they pay the full degree cost — all over again. In this case, we not only need tar and feathering, but the walk of shame through the capital — end to end. Then comes the jail time and mandatory repayments, with damages.

Short story — don’t ever, EVER, EVER offer a fake degree or certification, because if the doctor finds out, he will make sure that the entire world knows and report you to every certification body, law enforcement authority, and regulatory body he can find the phone number or e-mail for and make sure you, or your institution, is publicly humiliated. This goes double if you offer fake degrees or certifications in Supply Management, or make false claims about what a certified or degreed individual will be able to do after obtaining your certification or degree. You have been warned!


* My readers who, like the doctor, earned their Ph.D. (and paid for it in blood, sweat, hair, and mental health) will understand!