Category Archives: rants

PROCUREMENT ARE NOT GUINEA PIGS!

Now, a lot of things grind my gears, but if you really want the doctor to fly into a rage, suggest, as this article did, that Procurement, the most critical function in the modern organization, and the one experiencing the greatest dearth of talent, should be used as a guinea pigs … and especially so for bullcr@p AI!

This is the kind of idiocy that, in olden times, would not only get you fired on the spot for suggesting it, but blacklisted by your employer and any other executive who hung out in the same private clubs. No one wants a reckless fool that could tank their business, earnings, and lifestyle … and that’s the last thing a rich, lazy, private club (and private jet) executive wants to happen. (And the last thing your team wants to happen as you put the blame on them and expect them to clean up a mess that the systems you imposed created.)

If you’re going to experiment with AI, especially if you’re just doing it so you won’t miss the bandwagon as it races by (because, as we’ve said before, it has no brakes and no steering if its the Gen-AI bandwagon), pick a function and a supporting task that is much (much) less critical where utter, abysmal failure won’t have any significant business impact … not a function where one mistake in even the most mundane of activities can halt your multi-million dollar production line for weeks (or months) and possibly bankrupt you!

Zombie Companies Exist Too!

Last week the one and only Dr. Tony Bridger, one of the world’s leading spend gurus, said that the correct term for “walking dead companies” is Zombie companies, and I had to correct him.

Historically, a person was walking dead when they had received a mortal wound, infection, poison, or radiation dose and it was just a matter of time before they died. But they weren’t dead yet, and there was always a chance (albeit not a good one) they could survive if they got medical treatment fast enough to stem the bleeding and repair enough of the damage, fight the infection with a miracle drug, get injected with the anti-venom, or get quickly decontaminated and receive enough red blood cell transfusions to have a fighting chance (although, admittedly, not a very good one).

Similarly, a walking dead company is a company that is on the path to insolvency (or acquisition on someone else’s terms if it’s lucky) because of the situation it is in, which is usually because of critical mistakes that were made in the past and still being made today. If such a company suddenly stopped making all identifiable mistakes, found a way to stem the bleeding (of cash), and mitigate some of those past mistakes, there’s still a chance it could survive. It might not be the company it wanted to be, but if it made it to break even, maybe it could find a new direction and a new chance to be great down the road.

In comparison, a zombie company is one that is already dead, and has been dead for years, but refuses to die, usually because of the stubbornness of one or two founders/leaders who believe if they make it just one more year, even though they refuse to do anything different from what they have been doing for years, the company will magically take off. They maintain a heretical, fervent belief that it just needs “more time”, just like the Gen-AI zealots believe it just needs “more cores”, and the American voters think they have a real choice (when, in a two party system, they don’t … or at least won’t until the Super PACs, which give money to both parties to ensure that whomever wins will support their core agenda, are made illegal and eliminated).

You can tell these companies because, in our space,

  • they have been around more than five years, and usually more than seven (before COVID and since the second last M&A frenzy in the late teens when money flowed freely)
  • they have less than 10 (FT) employees if they are primarily a point/module-based solution, and less than 20 (FT) employees
  • their customer count hasn’t increased significantly (i.e. has not increased by more than 10% to 20%) in at least 3 years, i.e. if they’ve managed to sign new customers, they’ve usually lost almost as many
  • they don’t do any marketing whatsoever beyond email campaigns and more often than not the copyright on their website is a year (or more) out of date
  • none of the major analyst firms or analysts have given them much attention in years

And, as any consultant, analyst, or partner who they attempted to engage or who tried to help them can tell you, the situation the company is in is unrecoverable or a non-starter.

(So while the doctor will be giving you

  • a two-part series on what you can do to avoid the graveyard if you admit to some of the dumb company mistakes and
  • an eight-part series on what you can do to avoid the graveyard if you are willing to admit you are making some of the dead company walking mistakes

he will not be doing any follow ups to this article.)

Why are they zombie companies? There are a lot of reasons the doctor can point to, and he’ll include a few examples in this article, but it all boils down to this:

  1. most of these companies are owned by one to three founders/partners who control the company and
  2. the refuse to admit that they need help, or if they admit they need help, they refuse to either do what is necessary, and often won’t even admit they need to do something different to get help

And since I know THE REVELATOR loves details, some examples include, but are definitely not limited to:

  • their messaging will be awful and their marketing strategy non-existent, and even if multiple people outright tell them that, including analysts and (potential) partners who want to help them, the founder/partner will either insist it’s just fine or that they need to keep it in house
  • they couldn’t sell a space heater to a freezing American stuck in Alaska, but won’t hire a full time sales person on salary because “a great salesperson should work only on commission and want to sell our product because it’s so great”, even though a sales person would need to sell a deal a month to make a decent salary on the commission on a 50K modular sale, and since it takes about a year to build a solid pipeline, that sales person is apparently supposed to starve for the first year (with zero stake in the company) … because of future potential
  • they admit they need help tweaking the product to be more appealing to a wider audience, but won’t pay for consulting because the budget is too tight — unless the consultant works on “referrals” … but that’s presales, not product, and not what the consultant they need is going to be any good at, so they don’t get any help … ever!
  • etc.

the doctor could go on, but he won’t, because there’s no point. At the end of the day, these zombie companies desperately need help, and even if they admit it in some capacity, they won’t get it because they don’t want “IP” to leave their “4 walls” (even though they have very little they need to protect as the core of most solutions that implement a core function is about 80% the same), or, usually don’t want to pay for it (because that would either require investment, a loan, and/or ownership dilution … and sales, which they are not getting and haven’t gotten in years, should pay for everything).

The founders/partners are the problem, they can’t be removed, and they’ll stubbornly keep sailing on the edge of the massive whirlpool that’s sure to swallow their ship to the bottom of the sea until they lose that one key customer (that accounts for a significant part of their revenues or referrals to replace the customers they keep losing) or one of the partners becomes unable to continue, at which time the helm will be unmanned and the whirlpool will win. It’s unfortunate for all involved, and it is even more unfortunate that, since they are private, you can’t do hostile takeovers of the ones with good tech that will soon be lost to time.

So that’s it. Zombie companies exist and they can’t be helped and you want to steer further from them then dead companies walking. At least in the case of a dead company walking, if that company admits it and charts a turn around course, it could end up being an okay bet, especially if they can reach profitability or are likely to get acquired intact by a new investor. But the only future for a zombie company, unable to acquire the brains it needs to survive, is to eventually shrivel up and fall apart and return to the dirt from which it came.

Don’t Fall for the Buzzwords!

In fact, as per our 10 words or phrases to ban from an RFP response last year (Part I and Part II), you should ban all buzzwords from not only your RFPs but from your communications with potential vendors. They should be counted as strikes against the vendor and the baseball rule applied (3 strikes and you’re out).

Even though you might be attracted to “social”, “green”, “(Gen-)AI” (which you shouldn’t be, since it’s been proven that all the emergent property claims are false), “autonomous”, “intake-to-“, “discovery”, “multiplier”, and “insights”, etc., you need to remember that the vendors know this and are using as many of these terms as possible to lure you to them and convince you they have the best solution, even if all they have are the best buzzwords.

After all, they know that you are under pressure by your consumers, colleagues, and CEO to be “social”, “green”, and “autonomous” and that, to do that, you need “insights” and “discovery” and that you are all getting swept up in the “intake-to” and “(Gen-)AI” hype-cycles and that you believe it will get you “multipliers” and “delightful” experiences.

So they are preying on your pressures, your desires, and your fears of missing the hype-cycle and being left-behind, even though these “hype” cycles are often literal — all “hype”, no “substance”. Social value is a buzzword, nothing more. Social value is not in applications, it is in awards and actions. The same with “green”. At the end of the day, all SaaS platforms are equally green (unless they use Gen-AI, because then they use ten time the computing resources to do a simple task), they all minimize the need for on-site hardware, but they all eat up cloud compute cycles. The green comes in the decisions you make with them.

Automation is important, but “autonomous” is only useful for tactical e-paper pushing, not for strategic decision making — good computational algorithms can compute odds (and make recommendations) based on the data presented, but it cannot make decisions, and the odds are only as good as the data. “Insights” are only achieved on good data … and if you don’t have that “good” data, you can be damn sure the vendor doesn’t. “Discovery” is always limited to data at your disposal or the vendor’s disposal. If you don’t have the supplier in your database and the vendor doesn’t have the supplier in its community database, there’s no way it’s going to be “discovered”. Also, “intake-to-procure” is useless if you don’t have the solution in place to actually “procure”. As we pointed out in our piece on marketplace madness, intake-to-orchestrate on its own is useless, and a real, modern procurement solution actually has “intake” built in. (So if yours doesn’t, maybe upgrade it to a better solution instead of paying six-figures a year for a view into your data that doesn’t actually add any value.)

Which brings us to the (Gen)-AI hype-cycle. It’s all hype, no substance. There are no valid uses for Gen-AI and even less uses than none in Procurement and it’s all a fallacy considering that even in a decade it won’t even have a 50/50 chance of being truly dependable at the expected rate of improvement. (And if a 200M investment into a new model culminated in the great insight that we should eat one rock a day, maybe it’s time to bury this failed offshoot of AI now before more Billions are wasted. After all, if those Billions were invested in the public school system, that would more than double the current national budget — think of how much better educated your children would be with that increase in funding. Despite the bullcr@p, the future lies in Human Intelligence (HI!), which needs to be nurtured, not abandoned.)

In other words, don’t get led astray by the buzzwords. Value comes from real products that solve real problems whose solutions provide real value to your organization. If the vendor can’t explain that in plain English, then you can be fairly certain the vendor doesn’t have anything truly valuable and you should move on.

Why Do Successful Solution Providers Ruin Everything By Becoming Tech Companies?

Jon THE REVELATOR asked this very important question in a article over on Procure Insights in the spring.

And, of course, the doctor answered.

Simply put, the reason they ruin everything is because they fail to understand that, in Finance and Procurement, no one wants tech or software … no one. This is true from a professional and a personal point of view.

Professionally, they want whatever will make their jobs easier. They don’t care if its software, a physical tool, outsourced labour, or an intern. They want to get the job done, fulfill the requirements of the business, make money, and do it with as little effort on their part as possible. If that’s software, great. If the money is there and it’s outsourcing everything at an affordable dollar value that will generate a return, they’d be just as happy (if not happier) to do that (as then they wouldn’t be stuck fighting with a tool when it didn’t do exactly what they wanted it to do exactly the way they wanted it done).

Personally, and this is what software companies don’t get, Finance and Procurement people want software EVEN less. 140,000 people don’t flock to CES (Consumer Electronics Show) for the software — they flock for the cool new gadgets that will entertain them. The gadgets may be software powered, but they don’t care about that. It’s the fun factor. And, let’s face it, Finance and Procurement software IS NOT FUN!

Has anyone ever wanted a word processor? A piece of tax software? A scripting tool? NO. Writers want an e-type writer, they don’t care what that is. People don’t even want to do their taxes, so they definitely don’t desire software that will help them do other people’s taxes too. Coders like scripting, but they are usually doing it to get a job done more quickly or elegantly or to have (sometimes illegal hacking) fun as it’s their version of entertainment. They don’t want your tool — they want what it does.

Gamers want video games, but they want the experience, they don’t want to see the “software”. The game console sells, not the code that powers it.

That’s why successful solution providers, who forgot it is all about solutions that deliver ROI to the business, ruin everything when they become tech companies. Tech is for consumers, not for business. Valuable ROI-generating solutions are for business.

Is Your Potential Vendor a Dead Company Walking? Part 2

In Part 1 we reminded you that our space is filling up with dumb companies and that this number, at least in the view of the doctor, is likely at an all time high.

We also reminded you that the doctor believes that your favourite vendor likely won’t be around, or at least not in it’s current form, within two years (or less), as he’s predicting a failure rate of 20% (or more); which, while it sounds pretty significant, is actually a mild prediction compared to THE REVELATOR‘s bold prediction that 75% of companies won’t be around, or at least not in their current form, within 18 months. Wow!

Why? First of all, as highlighted in the doctor‘s revised Dumb Company article, the companies that are (finally) starting to panic (internally) are starting to make the classic mistakes that often signal the beginning of the end.

Secondly, they have been, or are starting to, make the Dead Company mistakes, first highlighted by the doctor in December, 2008, as well as some scary new mistakes that weren’t as common, or that were overlooked by the doctor, sixteen years ago.

And while we can’t compile an exhaustive list for a number of reasons, as per Part 1, we can identify a number of common mistakes that companies who are dead companies walking tend to make (in the final days, even though they don’t always know it’s the final days yet). So if you see these mistakes in spades as a buying organization, best to steer clear until the ship is righted (assuming the vendor recognizes they are off course before it is too late and takes action). (You don’t want to go down with a sinking ship!)

In Part 1, we identified the first six common mistakes we are seeing too often. Today, we identify the next six.

Buzz and Sound Bites are more important than timeless educational content

As the doctor has been lamenting for months and months, the marketing madness is apparently at an all time high, buzzwords have replaced meaningful messages, and the hogwash doesn’t convey any useful information a prospective buyer can use to figure out what the product actually does! (And that’s one of the major causes of the current Procurement Stink, as we hinted at in this article about the Vendor Contribution to the Procurement Stink.)

Sure the hype gets attention, but it doesn’t deliver results!

So if all your research uncovers is buzzwords, sound bites, and hogwash, then you best stay clear of that vendor. As THE PROPHET has stated, M&A is about to make a comeback and the best you can hope for is that they get bought and merged.

If there is interest, your product is the solution

Not only is the doctor seeing too much rapid fire sound bite marketing to see what sticks in the marketers equivalent of throwing pasta against the wall, doubling down on whatever is getting the mot interest, assuming that their solution is the perfect solution for whatever they sold and, finally, assuming that any organization that contacts them is a potential customer and that their product will be the solution, no matter who the organization is, what the organization needs, or what their product actually does.

In short, they are adopting the Big X consulting playbook, everyone’s a client, sell whatever they can, whenever they can, and then hope they can figure out how to deliver later (without the deep strength across domains or the deep bench depth to take on big projects that the Big X have). But they are not consulting firms, they don’t have a suite of third party vendors they can proffer up, and they certainly don’t have the budget or bench to build custom solutions on the fly.

So if the first thing you get to an inquiry off of a sound-bite marketing advert is a hard sell, take a hard pass. A good vendor learns about you and your problems before proffering up a potential solution.

Sales is about numbers, not solutions

As outlined in detail in our recent article on why are there so many tech failures, at the majority of tech enterprises:

  • sales people are compensated on how much they sell, not how successful the solution is for the customer
  • sales people are pressured to hit numbers, or be cut if they have even ONE quarter in the bottom 10% of performers
  • sales people don’t stick around long enough for success to matter

There’s a reason that THE REVELATOR has outright stated in a recent article that after 40-plus years, I say this with the deepest sincerity -– 90% of salespeople aren’t worth the gum stuck on the bottom of a shoe, and that’s because the majority of them are just focussed on selling, not on actually solving a customer’s problem.

If the sales person is rushed to sell, keeps making one time offers that expire at the end of the quarter, or promises rapid returns without a detailed use case analysis, you can be sure they only care about getting your cash in the door, not about whether or not the solution can actually solve any of your problems.

Any temporary price cut to get those initial clients can be made up later!

When times start to get desperate, that’s when desperate organizations that know they need to sign customers now to keep the investors happy (including the venture capitalists and private equity investors) will offer “a few select marquis organizations an initial discount in exchange for joint press releases, quotes, case studies, and marketing sound-bites“, thinking that they can satiate the investors for a while by telling them that those success stories will allow the organization to jack the prices further and that they’ll be able to jack prices considerably at renewal time because of “all the added value” they will have built by then.

However, investors are not dumb and not going to fall for the “price cut now will lead to riches later”, because they’ve seen that fallacy over and over again (and they know that the prices never go back up). Plus, if the solution is really worth 1 Million, there’s no way any successful vendor is going to give you an introductory rate of 100K for a “case study and positive recommendation”. That’s a big red flag for any organization looking for a vendor with a successful solution.

Our tech works, any failure is the result of the implementation team/org

Going back to our recent article on why are there so many tech failures, we noted that one of the primary reasons there are so many tech failures is that, as also noted above, sales people are being forced to sell at any cost. And the reason that even those with a conscience can do this is because they have been told the solution can be adapted and customized as needed, and if it doesn’t work, then it’s the fault of the third party consulting partner’s implementation team for screwing it up.

But that’s bullcr@p, and you know it! First of all, it’s the vendor’s responsibility for selecting their partners as much as it is the partner’s responsibility for recommending the vendor. Secondly, even if the vendor has vetted the partner and assured that they are good people, it is still the vendor’s responsibility to train the partner’s people on their solution, implementation requirements, and best practices. Thirdly, and most importantly, it is the vendor’s responsibility to ensure they don’t make any promises the tech can’t keep, as well as insuring that any customer referrals don’t come with unrealistic expectations. (Heightened is okay if the vendor is willing to put the extra work in, but it must be within the realm of possibility with the current solution … not a future roadmap that may never materialize.)

We know what we’re doing

Just because a founder ran a Procurement Department or convinced an investment firm he knows how to run a company, that doesn’t mean he actually does, especially if it’s his first time. And it doesn’t matter how fast he can learn, how smart he is, how good he can sell, or how charismatic he is. Startup success requires a suite of critical skill sets (which are outlined in Garry Mansell’s Simplify to Succeed), each of which takes years to learn and sometimes a lifetime to master. You can’t wait to learn what you needed to do yesterday. Selling investors is not like selling Procurement technology buyers. And charisma only gets you in the door, on the stage, or an interview with Mr. X himself. It doesn’t necessarily get you the signature, the return invite, or the limelight.

This results in two major mistakes. Unless the founders raised (way) too much money and are under pressure from the investors to put a proper management team in place, they’ll go too light on real operational management (and sometimes marketing management, opting for the attention seeking sound-biters over the steady-state educationally focussed marketers that hook real customers with real problems the vendor’s solution might actually solve), thinking that all they need are a few rock-star developers, a sound-bite marketer, and aggressive sales people. Which isn’t a complete team and not a complete recipe for success.

The next mistake is believing they can do everything in house, and that they “don’t need no advice from no one“. Not other founders (including those who failed once or twice and know what not to do). Not consultants, who specialize in startups and helping companies operate successfully. Not analysts, who’ve seen hundreds of companies come and go (and seen the commonalities in successful solutions and successful companies). And definitely not independent Procurement technology experts who’ve had 20+ years in the space and seen thousands of companies come and go over the decades (and analyzed hundreds and hundreds in detail).

In the mid to late 2000s, even the above average companies, who (in hindsight) probably didn’t need any help, would look for any expert they could find with a decade of experience to help them survive the (coming) downturn (which came, as it always does), improve their solution offering, and grow. Today, a significant percentage of the new generation of founders, high on raising ridiculous amounts of early stage (often pre-beta) funding, running companies making a significant number of dumb company and dead company mistakes, won’t even consider that a third party with a decade or more of experience on them in the space could actually help them.

And while this is a hard mistake to tell directly (as the smart companies won’t necessarily disclose the experts they are working with to give them an edge), if you pay attention to their messages, their speech, and their words, you’ll get some indirect hints as to where the egos might still be too inflated for the company to see success (and you can hence identify it as a company that needs to be evaluated against the dumb company and dead company walking checklists). Phrases such as “I was a buyer for F500 for years managing $B categories“, “We raised 100M because our investors know that we know what the next generation of tech is“, “I’m not a sales guy, I’m a practitioner like you“, “Don’t worry, we know what you need” even before they’ve even asked a single question about your problems and reason for reaching out, etc.

Before we conclude we’d like to again remind you that this is not a complete list of mistakes soon to be dead companies often make, but a starting list of red flags you should look for as a potential buyer of their solutions. There are real, solid, solutions out there from real, solid, vendors who care about your success and who will likely survive the coming implosion. You might have to look quite hard to find them (especially if THE REVELATOR is right and 3/4 will not survive unscathed), but the effort will be worth it because the last thing you want is your solution to fall out from under you just after the implementation is complete.

(And it’s critical to remember that any deep solution is going to take multiple quarters to implement, especially if you need to collect, classify, cleanse, and map years of historical data from multiple systems. For a mini-suite, always expect six [6] to twelve [12] months as a mid-market, and more for a full suite. Yes, some functionality that doesn’t require historical data will be available day one, and other functionality that only requires a year or two of data to get going will be available day ninety one, but no solution with depth is going to be completely implemented in under a quarter. So the next time a vendor says they can do an end to end complete enterprise Procurement installation in 60 days, they don’t have anything deep besides a shiny faketake-to-nowhere UX or a wrapper on third party tech from a company that poses more risk than they do.)